In some countries today, there is an attitude that ‘anyone can do it’ in the arts – music, literature, acting, art, etc. As a result, people with no talent become rich and famous and genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Do you agree or disagree

The concept of arts contains lots of
ilusional
Correct your spelling
illusional
delusional
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
, the more people think of catching the
artist
Change noun form
artist's
show examples
ideal the higher chance for them to
lost
Change the form of the verb
lose
show examples
. Since "anyone can do it" became a
phenominum
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
phenomenal
, genuine
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
show examples
are
underated
Correct your spelling
underrated
and
suffering
Wrong verb form
suffer
show examples
under criticism,
whileas
Correct your spelling
while
people with no talent get more attention and spotlight.
However
, to take the statement
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
considered
Change the form of the verb
consider
show examples
, I totally disagree.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
the falseness of the statement
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
indicates genuine talent is not valued or appreciated. Arts are about intangible and tangible products, which play an important role in healing people's souls, it might not be an
extravangant
Correct your spelling
extravagant
painting or a historical sonate, sometimes, just some soft melody can be so touching and make you feel better.
Hense
Correct your spelling
Hence
show examples
, we might not
considered
Change the verb form
consider
be considered
show examples
that musician talentless, but
cheerish
Correct your spelling
cherish
them with
applauds
Replace the word
applause
show examples
and respect.
Moreover
,
Submitted by hong081102 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: