In some countries, people these days spend very little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whom does this affect more, parents or children?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days, there is a dramatic hike in the tendency of parents to spend little time with their dependents.

This

Linking Words

is mainly because of the strenuous working conditions of guardians

along with

Linking Words

the ubiquity of video games.

Accordingly

Linking Words

, its impacts are utterly more serious on

juniors

Use synonyms

' lives than on fosters. Chief among the causes of

this

Linking Words

trend relates to the lack of daily parental supervision. By employees spending the vast majority of their days working in order to satisfy the essential needs of their

juniors

Use synonyms

and support their families, they forget to spend adequate time supporting their minors.

This

Linking Words

can be witnessed by

apple's

Capitalize word

Apple's

show examples

workers who suffer from

high

Add an article

the high

show examples

competitive atmosphere at work which in turn drives them to work 15-hour shifts. One

further

Linking Words

contributor to

such

Linking Words

a trend is the wide availability and variety of cheap forms of entertainment and video games

such

Linking Words

as the PUBG game which attracts juveniles and lures them to isolate themselves rather than communicate with their custodians. There are a plethora of reasons why the impact of

this

Linking Words

tendency on children exceeds

this

Linking Words

on parents. One reason is that caretakers are considered to be vulnerable members of society because they lack life experiences;

subsequently

Linking Words

, they are easily affected by various social ills.

In other words

Linking Words

, if dependents are highly exposed to violent content through action movies,

juniors

Use synonyms

will become prone to drug dealing, atrocities and alcoholism in later life. One particularly salient example of

this

Linking Words

is Egypt where there is a recent upsurge in crime rates among

juniors

Use synonyms

aged from 7 to 12 which has resulted from spending long hours in front of screens. In conclusion,

this

Linking Words

is a problem of

such

Linking Words

complexity that no solution is likely in the short term.

However

Linking Words

, caretakers are the most affected sector of society.

ericssonsony551Tue Jan 17 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Good effort in addressing the topic. Make sure to provide a more balanced view on the causes and effects of parents spending less time with children. Consider including additional solutions or perspectives to make your argument more comprehensive.

coherence and cohesion

The essay contains an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a positive aspect. However, work on making smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs for better coherence and cohesion. Use linking words/phrases to connect your ideas more effectively.

task response

Addressed the topic effectively by discussing the causes and effects of parents spending less time with children.

coherence and cohesion

Included an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion in the essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Playing too many video games can lead to decreased physical activity and social interaction, which can have negative effects on overall health. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people opine that children who spend too much time playing video games might have a negative impact on their overall health. Individually, this writer firmly believes that it can affect their cooperation with society and physical fitness. This essay will address the reasons for my views as follows.
6.5
band
Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
For the betterment of pupils’ future, exams must be held at territory institutions to make them confident for their upcoming careers before they pass their qualifications. We can understand it is stressful, but later stage it will be beneficial for the student, who will work for his/ her employer. I agree with the given statement. This essay will argue that regular exams give them more motivation, confidence and learning capacity on time-based projects.
7
band
Many people believe that having a pet in the home, such as a dog or a cat, during a child’s first years of life is beneficial to that child’s development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this belief?
There is no denying the fact that nowadays the rate of taking responsibility for a pet, has increased over time. While it is a commonly held belief that, many people think that having a dog or a cat, during a child’s first years of life is beneficial to that child’s development, there is also an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that having an animal in a child's life has a negative effect.
7.5
band
Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree.
There is considerable debate about whether paper journals or digital newspapers are the most important source of news for the majority of people. In my opinion, paper journals are the most important source.
7.5
band
TSome people believe that one of the best ways to solve environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a divisive opinion in society, where some folks believe that the best way to curb environmental problems is to hike fuel prices for vehicles. Though hiking prices might reduce the usage of cars, which in turn reduces harmful exhaust from the vehicles, I personally believe it would be quite an unpopular decision. Hence, I completely disagree with this myopic view and I have the following reasons to support my stance.

In some countries, people these days spend very little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whom does this affect more, parents or children?

Playing too many video games can lead to decreased physical activity and social interaction, which can have negative effects on overall health. Do you agree or disagree?

Teenagers should have regular exams at secondary school as this will prepare them better for life after leaving school. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that having a pet in the home, such as a dog or a cat, during a child’s first years of life is beneficial to that child’s development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this belief?

Although more and more people read the news on the Internet, newspaper will remain the most important source of news for the majority of people. Do you agree or disagree.

TSome people believe that one of the best ways to solve environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?