IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

The majority of news being reported is bad news such as wars, famines, accidents and crime. Why do you think that is? Do you think the news should be a balance of both good and bad news?

#majority #news #wars #famines #accidents #crime #balance
Most
news
 that dominates the headlines is negative, like conflicts, starvation, accidents, and increasing crime rates. In my opinion,
this
 happens to manipulate the audience to focus on pessimistic pieces of
information
.
This
 essay will discuss why the equal presentation of positive and negative
news
 is essential.
First,
to detect the causes behind the overload of pessimistic reports, we must consider the principles of human nature and psychology and realise that
people
 usually have a negative bias against everything that happens in the world. When something positive appears in the
news
,
for example
, volunteers cleaning a beach or planting trees in an area,
people
 quickly diminish their actions to be negligent, which will not save the planet.
However
, when a natural disaster or a conflict happens, it creates public awareness, so journalists and reporters focus on bad accounts to manipulate and keep their viewers. Preserving a balance between optimistic and pessimistic pieces of
information
, in printed materials, like newspapers and magazines, and in bulletins is a matter of great importance. When reporters bombard the population with bad reports, and there is nothing pleasant to watch to be alleviated, they will become miserable and maybe stop reading and watching the
news
.
Moreover
, it is crucial to praise beneficial actions and entertain the audience,
therefore
, reports must be both informative and entertaining. In conclusion,
people
 pay more attention to gloomy
information
, which is constantly all over the
news
.
People
's tendency to focus on these is interwoven with human nature, but positive
information
 is
also
 crucial, so finding the balance between them is the key.
Submitted by stellavasil52 on

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Relevant and Specific Examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
Task Response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the essay prompt. Make sure to present a balanced argument about whether the news should include both good and bad news.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a good logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, to improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas are connected and organized in a clear and logical way throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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