7. In some countries, parents expect children to spend long time studying both in and after school, and have less free time. Do you think it has the positive or negative effects on children and society?

In recent years, many
parents
in some parts of the world, want their
children
to spend long hours studying in school and after it.
This
results in leaving youngsters with little free
time
to play and socialise with their friends and their family.
This
essay believes that
this
has a negative effect on
children
because
this
will lead to
children
being socially impaired when they become adults. It will
also
lead to a community with no
values
and communication among each other.
Although
studying for many hours has its benefits
such
as receiving good grades on exams, it
also
isolates people.
This
means that with no
time
to interact with others,
children
become lonely and even depressed if it continues for a long
time
.
Then
, even as ,adults they struggle to create connections and they remain depressed, and some might commit suicide.
For example
, Japan has the highest teenage
suicidal
Replace the word
suicide
show examples
rates because their
parents
expect them to spend long hours learning.
In addition
, studying for long periods has a negative effect on our community. Families lose their
values
when
children
are not around. They miss a lot of
time
playing together and teaching them about family tradition and their culture.
For instance
, many families whose
children
spend little or no
time
with their
parents
, are not aware of family
values
and traditions. In conclusion, there is no doubt that education and learning have many
values
and benefits which will
serve
Verb problem
help
show examples
youngsters to become decent citizens for themselves and their community;
however
, there should be a well-balanced
time
between education and free
time
and
parents
are mainly responsible
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
make that happen.
Submitted by rabie_0677 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and comprehensive introduction with a well-defined thesis statement. Your conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position on the issue.
task achievement
Be careful with relevant specific examples related to the prompt. Focus on providing examples and ideas that are directly relevant to the topic given.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: