IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

It is increasingly common for people to get the news from social media. Traditional sources of news like newspapers, television and radio are becoming less popular. Why is this so? Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #news #media #sources #newspapers #television #radio #development
In recent years, the usage of the
internet
 to spread the
news
 has been widely accepted and the consequence is
people
 have started to neglect old-style
media
,
such
 as newspapers or television. In my opinion,
although
 it will draw numerous benefits, there are
also
 many drawbacks we should consider.
To begin
 with, social
media
 is eligible to spread the
news
 swiftly and reach
wider
Add an article
a wider
show examples
 range of
people
. As long as receivers
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
active
Add an article
an active
show examples
internet
 connection, they can obtain the shared video or text.
For instance
,
people
 from America may get
Add an article
a message
the message
show examples
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
show examples
 from
Add an article
a citizen
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 in Indonesia in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 blink of
eye
Add an article
an eye
show examples
.
Furthermore
, using social
media
 means we could get a bunch of information through one time of scrolling since everybody on the
internet
 can share information, regardless it is true or false. The more source the more we can calibrate the occurrences.
For example
, if the majority of
media
 said the forest fire was caused by unresponsible
people
, and
minority
Correct article usage
the minority
show examples
 said that it was ignited by
lightning
Add an article
a lightning
the lightning
show examples
strike
Fix the agreement mistake
strikes
show examples
,
then
 we can conclude that
culprit
Correct article usage
the culprit
show examples
 must take responsibility
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 disaster.
On the other hand
, a lot of consideration we need to take care of,
such
 as
hoax
Fix the agreement mistake
hoaxes
show examples
 and negative
news
. The simplicity of
post
Wrong verb form
posting
show examples
 a report and there
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 no
curator
Fix the agreement mistake
curators
show examples
 of the content can lead to misunderstanding or fake data. Hoax sometimes is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used as
issue
Correct article usage
an issue
show examples
 distraction for
politician
Fix the agreement mistake
politicians
show examples
 or
businessman
Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
show examples
, to
blurry
Replace the word
blur
show examples
 the genuine one.
Moreover
, negative or hate speech may become
common
Add an article
the common
a common
show examples
 thing we find in the social
media
 timeline.
Normalize
Wrong verb form
Normalizing
show examples
this
 kind of thing will lead
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 growing hatred. Hatred
to
Change preposition
toward
show examples
 certain
people
 will make
we
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
 stop to develop, yet just focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
’s
weakness
Fix the agreement mistake
weaknesses
show examples
. All in all, we should
using
Change the verb form
use
be using
show examples
media
 social wisely, since we can get much
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
faster
news
,
nevertheless
,
hoax
Fix the agreement mistake
hoaxes
show examples
 and negative
news
also
 become a thing we should consider while
surf
Change the verb form
surfing
show examples
 on the
internet
.
Submitted by fransprisyafada on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • real-time updates
  • fast-paced
  • diverse voices
  • perspectives
  • convenience
  • interactive nature
  • engage
  • misinformation
  • public trust
  • journalistic standards
  • echo chambers
  • critical thinking
What to do next:
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