Some people believe it is essential to include physical education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academics subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #classes #curriculum #children #time #academics #subjects

Some people argue that it is important

Change preposition

for

show examples

growth

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grow

show examples

.80 add physical

education

classes

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show examples

the curriculum for pupils, While others think that

children

time

is better spent on more

academical

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academic

show examples

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

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Although

, physical activities contribute

Correct your spelling

show examples

being strong and

health

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healthy

show examples

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believe that it's more appropriate to spend school hours on more

academical

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academic

show examples

subjects where essential knowledge

coud

Correct your spelling

could

be gained. On the one hand, adding

sport

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sports

show examples

classes

contribute to

children

's health conditions and power. If pupils do sport at least at school, they might become much

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apply

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stronger.

Moreover

schooles

Correct your spelling

schools

show examples

able to provide trainers, which are

are

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apply

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proficient and rigorously

electived

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elected

selected

electives

, and high-level gyms.

For example

, in Israel physical

education

lessons

are based

from

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first

class

this

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which

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leads to

Correct article usage

an upwars

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upwars

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upward

upwards

trend of healthy residents. I,

however

, believe

this

approach may disrupt

others

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other

show examples

academical

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academic

show examples

lesson that plays

key

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a key

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role in

pupil's

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pupils'

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growth.

On the other hand

, more hours spent on

academical

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academic

show examples

lessons

leads to wide-range

knowledge

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of knowledge

show examples

about

world

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the world

show examples

and proficiency in

main

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the main

show examples

children

's field. Extending

time

which would be spent on

academical

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academic

show examples

education

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

relevent

Correct your spelling

relevant

approach rather than expanding hours for physical

education

. Despite

this

Add a comma

,this

show examples

a lot of parents

also

wish more appropriate method for growing

children

. As an example, in Russia PE

classes

held

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are held

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once a week while other

time

spent

Add a missing verb

is spent

show examples

academical

Replace the word

academic

show examples

lessons

this

leads to

Russian's

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Russian

show examples

pupils

Change noun form

pupils'

pupil's

show examples

vast understanding of world

princeples

Correct your spelling

principles

and wide-range knowledge. I think,

this

method is much better rather than extending

time

Add an article

the time

show examples

for PE

classes

. In conclusion, despite expanding

time

Correct article usage

the time

show examples

spent on physical

lessons

is good for health and power,

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show examples

think it would be much more

time

academical

Replace the word

academic

show examples

lessons

Submitted by prostoy.pacan4ek on Wed Jan 18 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe it is essential to include physical education classes in the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academics subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think they newspapers are the best way to get news. However others believe that other media are better source of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

These days, food days, food travels long distances before reaching consumers, and it is therefore believed that consuming locally grown food would bring about a number of economic and environmental benefits. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident, as people all over the world wear the same fashions, use the same brands, have similar eating habits and watch the same TV channels. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people think that the best way to succeed in life is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.