IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

in countries where there is high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant’s criminal record.
This
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 protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that
this
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 practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case. On the one hand, many people enjoy easy
hobbies
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. One example of an
activity
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that is
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 easy for most people is swimming.
This
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 hobby requires very little equipment, it is simple to learn, and it is inexpensive. I remember
le arning
Correct your spelling
learning
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 to swim at my local swimming pool when I was a child, and it never felt like a demanding or challenging experience. Another hobby that I find easy and fun is photography. In my opinion, anyone can take interesting pictures without knowing too much about the technicalities of operating a camera. Despite being straightforward, taking photos is a satisfying
activity
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.
On the other hand
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, difficult
hobbies
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 can sometimes be more exciting. If an
activity
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 is more challenging, we might feel a greater sense of satisfaction when we manage to do it successfully.
For example
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, film editing is a hobby that requires a high level of knowledge and expertise. In my case, it took me around two years before I became competent at
this
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activity
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, but now I enjoy it much more than I did when I started. I believe that many
hobbies
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 give us more pleasure when we reach a higher level of performance because the results are better and the feeling of achievement is greater. In conclusion, simple
hobbies
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 can be fun and relaxing, but difficult
hobbies
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 can be equally pleasurable for different reasons.

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt in your essay. Your response did not specifically relate to the topic about jury access to criminal records, which is essential for a complete answer.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that directly connects to the main argument of the essay. Some ideas presented seemed slightly off-topic or underdeveloped.
coherence and cohesion
Try to incorporate more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the richness of your writing. This will also help in communicating your ideas more effectively.
content
You provided clear points regarding the enjoyment of both easy and difficult hobbies, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
clarity
Your writing is generally clear and easy to understand, which is a great strength in your communication.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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