IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The prison system has not been effective at reforming criminals. A large number of convicted felons return to committing crimes soon after being released. What are the problems with the prison system and what solution can you recommend to address this issue?

#prison #system #criminals #felons #crimes #address
The prison system has always been a subject of debate and ,
lately
Add a comma
,lately
show examples
 its utility in reforming criminals has been put into question. A large number of convicts re-return to the path of crime post their period behind bars. In
this
 ,essay we shall try to analyse the problem of the prison system and provide possible solutions to address the same. The ecosystem of jails from time immemorial has been one dimensional as it aims to keep the convict secluded from society, preventing possible recurrence of crime .
However
, in doing so it has failed to act as a means of reforming the criminal mindset.
Moreover
, life behind bars is subject to authoritarian abuse which impacts the psychology of the people inside it. Harsh conditions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and lack of counselling
further
 deteriorate the already deviated mindset of criminals which induces them towards punishable offences. The modern solution to the above problem can be found in setting up technical centres inside the prison where the convicts can learn skills which will not only help them to a new mode of employment post their release but will
also
 act as a means of earning. Counselling them
also
 will help their realignment to mainstream society .
For example
 in the state of West Bengal , India, the jails had been re-christened as correctional homes and penitentiary system has focussed on upgrading the technical capabilities of the inmates and soft loans and grants are provided post-release to help them reintegrate into society.
Thus
, we can encapsulate by saying that a mindset change of the state is the primary necessity to ensure that criminals do not revert back to their old ways. It is always said one should hate crime and not the criminal and they should be given an opportunity to mend ways and be more law-abiding citizens.
Submitted by hindolroy7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: