Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behavior. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #television #influences #behavior #amount #time

Televeision

Correct your spelling

Television

is the most effective media that could influence children. Many

people

believe that

information

which is

showed

Wrong verb form

shown

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television could impact adolescents'

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

, while others feel that it

is depend

Change the verb form

depends

show examples

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

show examples

First

of all, television is a tool to spread

information

and connect

people

together.

programs show a lot of things like news,

shows,

moives

Correct your spelling

movies

and other

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

. Most of them are adopted from other nations.

For example

, date game shows or competition game shows.

These kind

Change the determiner

This kind

These kinds

show examples

programs could change

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

perception

Fix the agreement mistake

perceptions

show examples

and

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

such

as their romantic relationships. Other

people

think that the more child

spend

Change the verb form

spends

show examples

time

on television, the more they change their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

People

may not trust

information

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first

time

unless it is from trustworthy sources like reporters or the government.

Therefore

, media influencers would take

time

to influence young

people

however

, it is happening

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days.

For instance

, Thai society

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that

Correct article usage

the korean

show examples

korean

Change the capitalization

Korean

show examples

style is beautiful. Most of them love to cut their hair and do

make up

Add a hyphen

make-up

show examples

like Korean Idols. In conclusion, having examined both views, my opinion is that

information

and

time

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

could

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

lifestyle and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Therefore

, young citizens should consume media carefully.

Submitted by ak.porawan on Wed Jan 18 2023

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

205 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behavior. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

some people say that the main environment problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. others say that there are more important environmental problems. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, children watch a lot of TV and play video games. However, some think that these activities are not beneficial for a child’s mental health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?