Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behavior. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #television #influences #behavior #amount #time

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Televeision

Correct your spelling

Television

is the most effective media that could influence children. Many

people

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believe that

information

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which is

showed

Wrong verb form

shown

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television could impact adolescents'

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

, while others feel that it

is depend

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depends

show examples

Use synonyms

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

show examples

First

Linking Words

of all, television is a tool to spread

information

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and connect

people

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together.

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programs show a lot of things like news,

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shows,

moives

Correct your spelling

movies

and other

entertainments

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entertainment

show examples

. Most of them are adopted from other nations.

For example

Linking Words

, date game shows or competition game shows.

These kind

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This kind

These kinds

show examples

Use synonyms

programs could change

children

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children's

show examples

perception

Fix the agreement mistake

perceptions

show examples

and

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

such

Linking Words

as their romantic relationships. Other

people

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think that the more child

spend

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spends

show examples

time

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on television, the more they change their

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

People

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may not trust

information

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Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first

Linking Words

time

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unless it is from trustworthy sources like reporters or the government.

Therefore

Linking Words

, media influencers would take

time

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to influence young

people

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however

Linking Words

, it is happening

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apply

show examples

these days.

For instance

Linking Words

, Thai society

believe

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believes

show examples

that

Correct article usage

the korean

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korean

Change the capitalization

Korean

show examples

style is beautiful. Most of them love to cut their hair and do

make up

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make-up

show examples

like Korean Idols. In conclusion, having examined both views, my opinion is that

information

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and

time

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consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

Use synonyms

could

effect

Correct your spelling

affect

show examples

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

lifestyle and

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, young citizens should consume media carefully.

Submitted by ak.porawan on Wed Jan 18 2023

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

205 words

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Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behavior. Others say that amount of time spent watching television influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Famous sportsmen earn a lot more money than those in other professions. Although sport is important in our lives, everyone should be equal and such big incomes of sport professionals are unjustified. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. Some claim that this has negative effects on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's lives. Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views including your opinion.

Some people believe that educational success depends on good teacher; others think that it depends on the attitude of the students. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.