IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
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In
this
Linking Words
 period of globalisation,
Use synonyms
university
Add an article
the university
show examples
 is one of
Correct article usage
the place
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place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 to study, including bachelor, master, and
doctor
Replace the word
doctorate
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program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
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.
However
Linking Words
,
student
Use synonyms
admission
Use synonyms
 has to be based on both academic and non-academic in the
University
Use synonyms
. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 notion, and my opinion will be discussed in
further
Linking Words
 paragraphs with a sensible conclusion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, college
admission
Use synonyms
 might be undertaken through
academic
Correct article usage
an academic
show examples
 selection system. In
this
Linking Words
 circumstance, academic awards are closely related to formal education in class or
campus
Change preposition
on campus
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, the academic selection process could be seen from the GPA, particularly towards the
master
Change noun form
master's
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 degree.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
student
Correct article usage
the student
show examples
admission
Use synonyms
 standard
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 The
University
Use synonyms
 of Birmingham for Indonesians is to have
3.00
Correct article usage
a 3.00
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/4.00 GPA. As a sequence, students who have do not appropriate entry requirements, it means that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 they cannot apply
in
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
University
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
student
Use synonyms
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 and women who have achievements in
non-academic
Correct your spelling
non-academics
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 can be approved
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
campus
Add an article
the campus
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, non-academic achievements are off-campus where
this
Linking Words
 program is usually devoted
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 students who actively participate in extracurricular activities outside the classroom,
such
Linking Words
 as winning international competitions, becoming international-level presenters, and scientific publications.
For example
Linking Words
, Umam
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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won the gold medal in the English debate contest in England since 2017.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will be considered by the campus for
admission
Use synonyms
 and not based on the number of genders. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
student
Use synonyms
 acceptance is not based on both
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 and women, neither
Use synonyms
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
who have
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have
Wrong verb form
having
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 good academic nor non-academic will lead to
adequate
Correct article usage
an adequate
show examples
 selection process.
However
Linking Words
, it will depend upon the stakeholder
university
Use synonyms
 mindsets and which view they favour.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
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