IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to stops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #towns #cities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's modernized era, shopping by websites is becoming bigger and bigger and
consequently
Linking Words
 may have a detrimental impact on town' stores.
Therefore
Linking Words
, certain individuals hold the opinion that these shops will be taken by the online ones over time. From my perspective, I have a firm belief that street shops are unchangeable things in our lives. The first thing that comes to mind is the experience itself and how it can play a significant role if we need to change our moods. Nowadays, the family can make some unforgettable memories with their offspring
while
Linking Words
 they are strolling and exploring numerous trendy clothes and some cutting-edge items that are present in shops. Certainly, one marvellous illustration of
this
Linking Words
 is a day in a mall where children and their parents can have
such
Linking Words
 a magnificent experience from the decorations of the mall that you can have them on websites to the stores and their unique products.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Seeing the products physically in real life is another reason to not stop buying from the cities' stores.
Although
Linking Words
 there is nothing as ubiquitous as shopping sites on the internet, people still tend to rely on the products so that they can see their quality.
In addition
Linking Words
, some certain individuals cannot purchase anything unless they try it on which always leads them to look for a shop
instead
Linking Words
 of buying on the internet. In conclusion, as we have seen, we could effortlessly find that going shopping is not just for obtaining something new but
also
Linking Words
 to enjoy a plethora of other things
Submitted by a.awh05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Be sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction as well as in the conclusion, as this strengthens your argument and makes your stance clearer to the reader.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding your essay with more varied examples and counterarguments to fully address the prompt and show a wide range of language skills.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use transitional phrases between paragraphs and within them to ensure smoother flow and more effective cohesion.
Argument Strength
Your essay successfully conveys your opinion with strong reasoning and relevant examples.
Examples Usage
Good use of specific examples to support your points, such as the importance of physical shopping experiences.
Logical Flow
Well-structured paragraphs and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: