The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekends To what extant do you agree or disagree?

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The
workdays
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in a
week
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should be shorter and people should have more weekends.
Although
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it may not be suitable for all
workplaces
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, I partially agree that it could reduce
stress
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and increase
productivity
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. The short
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work
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workweek
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week
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may not be available for some
workplaces
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. Because
such
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kind of
workpaces
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workplaces
workspaces
have to
work
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7 days a
week
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and 24 hours a day.
For example
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, hospitals must serve the whole
week
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. If they reduce
workdays
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in a
week
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, it could increase the
work
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pressure on employees.
As a result
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, the quality of service and the number of satisfied customers might decline.
Therefore
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,
workdays
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in a
week
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should not be reduced.
On the other hand
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, it could have several advantages. Reduced
workdays
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can reduce workplace
stress
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and improve employee
productivity
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. The main reason is that employees would be happier and more focused at
work
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by spending less time working and more time with family. The New Zealand experiment showed a 7% drop in employee
stress
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levels when working fewer days, without any decrease in
productivity
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.
In addition
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, in 2020, Microsoft, one of the biggest companies in the world, introduced four-day weeks.
Consequently
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, 34% of workers felt more productive.
Thus
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, the short workweek should be introduced in some
workplaces
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. In conclusion, a short
work
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week
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might be unavailable for some
workplaces
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and could increase
work
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pressure on workers.
However
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, from my perspective, it has a positive effect on increasing employee
productivity
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and reducing workplace
stress
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levels. So, I partially agree that people should have shorter
workdays
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and longer weekends.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
To further strengthen the Task Response, consider addressing potential counterarguments and providing more detailed explanations. For instance, you could elaborate on ways that service-oriented industries could manage shorter work weeks without compromising service quality.
coherence cohesion
In terms of Coherence and Cohesion, ensure that all ideas are logically sequenced and that paragraphs transition smoothly from one to the next. This can be refined by using more transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a strong conclusion that reiterates the main point of partial agreement with the thesis statement.
task achievement
Specific and relevant examples, such as the New Zealand experiment and Microsoft's introduction of a four-day work week, effectively strengthen the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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