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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people feel the urban encivronments are more unhealthy than they have ever been What do you think are the main causes of the problem? What measures can be effective in tackling this problem ?

#people #encivronments #measures
Nowadays because of the
urbanitation
Correct your spelling
urbanisation
,
people
 are moving from the village to the big city, and it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 the population in the urban area are growing really fast. That phenomena lead to various problem
such
 as
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
show examples
environtmet
Correct your spelling
environment
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will explain in detail about
cause
Add an article
the cause
show examples
 of the problem and some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to handle
this
 situation.
To begin
 with, in
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 nowadays
people
 have their own
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
such
 as
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and
motorcycle
Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
show examples
 for everyday use. It
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
biggest
Change the article
the biggest
show examples
 part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
 pollution not
like
Change preposition
unlike
show examples
 the
people
 who live in the village that still use
bycyle
Correct your spelling
bicycle
 or
riding
Wrong verb form
ride
show examples
 a horse that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 0% of pollution.
Next
 would be too many electronic
device
Change to a plural noun
devices
show examples
 that
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not
environtmental
Correct your spelling
environmental
environmentally
 friendly,
for
Add an article
an example
show examples
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
air
conditioner
Fix the agreement mistake
conditioners
show examples
 that in
Add an article
the tropic
show examples
tropic
Replace the word
tropical
show examples
 country
people
 must have
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
at least one in each
house
. The
air
conditioner
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 the
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
 warmer
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 before.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 the many
skyscrapper
Correct your spelling
skyscraper
skyscrapers
 that newly build play
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
 role
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 home usage. Some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 could be done to make
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 urban
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
First
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 could encourage
people
 to take public transportation by providing easy and cheap
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
 like a bus or MRT. By that action,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 could prevent
people
 to use their personal
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the office and reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air
 pollution.
Second
, to reduce
air
conditioner
 usage
people
 could make a
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
house
.
Add an article
The green
A green
show examples
Green
Correct your spelling
Greenhouse
show examples
house
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
house
 that
designed
Add a missing verb
is designed
show examples
 to absorb light and still cool on the inside, so it could reduce
user
Correct article usage
the user
show examples
 of
air
conditioner
Fix the agreement mistake
conditioners
show examples
 and make the
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
 healthier. To sum up, even though there are many ways to solve the issue above
such
 as
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
people
 to take public transport and build a
green
Correct your spelling
greenhouse
show examples
house
, it is always from individual
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 to protect our
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
. Not only that,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
also
 play
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 role to make it happen.
Submitted by emailduringexcersice on

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