Nowadays many individuals work for long hours more than considering time for recreation. This issue has both benefits and drawbacks. I personally argue that disadvantages are more than advantages.

#individuals #work #hours #time #recreation

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays many individuals

work

for long hours more than considering time for recreation.

This

issue has both benefits and drawbacks. I personally argue that disadvantages are more than advantages. There are some benefits to working more than having leisure pursuits.

Firstly

, people can

work

overtime to make more money in order to have high-quality entertainment even if it is too short. Take employees earning a high salary for extra

work

as an example; they can have better hobbies in their holiday. Another advantage might be getting a

job

promotion. People devoting themselves to companies are more likely to climb the career ladder since they will become more skilful. To take intern engineers in companies as an example, they

work

full-time even on the holiday and

then

become senior engineers after a period and may get a high-power

job

in the future.

Nevertheless

, there are

also

disadvantages. Those who are struggled with

work

more than leaving time for leisure interests decrease their spirit in life because their life becomes more boring and monotonous. Another drawback concerning

this

could be losing

job

satisfaction because individuals usually prefer to avoid a demanding

job

, which has a lot of

workloads

Fix the agreement mistake

workload

show examples

because they do not have enough time for recreational activities. One example of

this

issue could be employees having no day off and they cannot hang out with families and friends to have amusement. In conclusion, in my view, the advantages including, earning more money and promoting in a

job

are greater than the disadvantages

such

as decreasing spirit and losing

job

satisfaction.

Submitted by soheilrealmadrid on Wed Jan 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?
The travel industry has experienced a major boom over the last century. As travel tickets keep getting cheaper most of the time, it has become easier to travel across the world and, though tourism has some advantages as well as disadvantages.
5
band
Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separetely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that higher education institutions should separate their students by gender, in order to enhance their learning process. I strongly disagree with such measure, since it could widen the gender gap in education. In addition, I believe that every student should be taught equally, regardless of their gender.
7.5
band
A friend of yours is thinking about applying for the same course that you did at university. He/She has asked for your advice about studying this subject. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • give details of the course you took at the university • explain why you recommend the university • give some advice about how to apply
I hope you’re well. I’m writing to share you with more details about the course, the university, and the application process.
5.5
band
Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
There has been debate on this issue for a long time about whether sports play an important role or not. I will explore both views in this essay.
<4
band
Finding it hard to remember important fact and figures? Improve your memory in 10 weeks with our Memory Course. Places are limited and the course is available for only a short time.
I remember that since I was a child, I have had a bad memory rather than my peers. A good example of it would be, in all stages of my whole life, in other words, from childhood to adulthood I cannot remember many events and scenes. In fact, not only do I have a good memory, but also I don’t have any skills to hone it. Because I have some problems and one of them is that I think during my life, I don’t have had good regime and nutrition. I really like being in this course, because it is believed that a good memory has many benefits. And I am really eager to know what is the course and how is it as well as what programs and skills will be taught. Since I am a poor person, I want to know what is the tuition for the course and when the course will start.

Nowadays many individuals work for long hours more than considering time for recreation. This issue has both benefits and drawbacks. I personally argue that disadvantages are more than advantages.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Learning at university would be more effective if men and women were educated separetely. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Finding it hard to remember important fact and figures? Improve your memory in 10 weeks with our Memory Course. Places are limited and the course is available for only a short time.