Nowadays many individuals work for long hours more than considering time for recreation. This issue has both benefits and drawbacks. I personally argue that disadvantages are more than advantages.

#individuals #work #hours #time #recreation

Nowadays many individuals

work

for long hours more than considering time for recreation.

This

issue has both benefits and drawbacks. I personally argue that disadvantages are more than advantages. There are some benefits to working more than having leisure pursuits.

Firstly

, people can

work

overtime to make more money in order to have high-quality entertainment even if it is too short. Take employees earning a high salary for extra

work

as an example; they can have better hobbies in their holiday. Another advantage might be getting a

job

promotion. People devoting themselves to companies are more likely to climb the career ladder since they will become more skilful. To take intern engineers in companies as an example, they

work

full-time even on the holiday and

then

become senior engineers after a period and may get a high-power

job

in the future.

Nevertheless

, there are

also

disadvantages. Those who are struggled with

work

more than leaving time for leisure interests decrease their spirit in life because their life becomes more boring and monotonous. Another drawback concerning

this

could be losing

job

satisfaction because individuals usually prefer to avoid a demanding

job

, which has a lot of

workloads

Fix the agreement mistake

workload

show examples

because they do not have enough time for recreational activities. One example of

this

issue could be employees having no day off and they cannot hang out with families and friends to have amusement. In conclusion, in my view, the advantages including, earning more money and promoting in a

job

are greater than the disadvantages

such

as decreasing spirit and losing

job

satisfaction.

Submitted by soheilrealmadrid on Wed Jan 18 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many individuals work for long hours more than considering time for recreation. This issue has both benefits and drawbacks. I personally argue that disadvantages are more than advantages.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most people take interviews to select a person for a job. What are the other ways? What do you think is the best way to recruit new employees?

Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people today are worried about young children using video games. What problems might these games cause for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Other say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and give your opinion.