Nowadays many individuals work for long hours more than considering time for recreation. This issue has both benefits and drawbacks. I personally argue that disadvantages are more than advantages.

#individuals #work #hours #time #recreation

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Nowadays many individuals

work

Use synonyms

for long hours more than considering time for recreation.

This

Linking Words

issue has both benefits and drawbacks. I personally argue that disadvantages are more than advantages. There are some benefits to working more than having leisure pursuits.

Firstly

Linking Words

, people can

work

Use synonyms

overtime to make more money in order to have high-quality entertainment even if it is too short. Take employees earning a high salary for extra

work

Use synonyms

as an example; they can have better hobbies in their holiday. Another advantage might be getting a

job

Use synonyms

promotion. People devoting themselves to companies are more likely to climb the career ladder since they will become more skilful. To take intern engineers in companies as an example, they

work

Use synonyms

full-time even on the holiday and

then

Linking Words

become senior engineers after a period and may get a high-power

job

Use synonyms

in the future.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

disadvantages. Those who are struggled with

work

Use synonyms

more than leaving time for leisure interests decrease their spirit in life because their life becomes more boring and monotonous. Another drawback concerning

this

Linking Words

could be losing

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction because individuals usually prefer to avoid a demanding

job

Use synonyms

, which has a lot of

workloads

Fix the agreement mistake

workload

show examples

because they do not have enough time for recreational activities. One example of

this

Linking Words

issue could be employees having no day off and they cannot hang out with families and friends to have amusement. In conclusion, in my view, the advantages including, earning more money and promoting in a

job

Use synonyms

are greater than the disadvantages

such

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as decreasing spirit and losing

job

Use synonyms

satisfaction.

Submitted by soheilrealmadrid on Wed Jan 18 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Nowadays many individuals work for long hours more than considering time for recreation. This issue has both benefits and drawbacks. I personally argue that disadvantages are more than advantages.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The efficientfunctioning o f society is based on rules and laws. Society would not function well if individuals were free to do whatever they wanted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today more people are travelling than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of travelling for the traveler?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?