Many children have become habitual about excessively using mobile application day and night. Why do you think this is so ? What parents can do to avoid this situation declining further ?

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The rapid development of technology has dramatically changed our standard of living
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker while. Consider removing the comma.

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while abusing
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones

It seems that smartphone may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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among
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has become
headache
Add an article
a headache

The noun phrase headache seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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for an enormous number of
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. There are several
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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factors
Correct pronoun usage
that lead

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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lead
Wrong verb form
leading

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb lead. Consider changing it.

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to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon and it is time
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

concerned took proper steps to stop
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, it is undeniable that
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have fewer abilities of self-control compared to adults, which means that they are more likely to be attracted by the diversity of content that mobile applications can deliver.
In contrast
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to reading books, smartphones can usually present information in an interactive and efficient method.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, using mobile is handy since nearly everyone carries a smartphone in their pocket and they can just pull it out anytime when they want as result,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

behaviour has become habitual.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon
definitely
Add a missing verb
is definitely

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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Add an article
a detriment
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detriment
Replace the word
detrimental

The word detriment doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to the growth of young and
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents

It seems that parent may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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should control
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend by restricting the hours of cellphone usage. The majority of smartphones have a feature called parent mode. By setting up
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

moilbe
Correct your spelling
mobile

If you don’t want moilbe to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

on
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's smart devices,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can easily limit the time of
using
Correct pronoun usage
itusing

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
Parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

shut down the
accessibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
accessibility

It seems that accessibilities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of selected applications
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as TikTok, youtube or Netflix that could attract
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's attention. In conclusion, the excessive of using smart devices is absolutely detrimental to the growth of teenagers. Hopefully,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend would be eliminated in the near future by practising the possible solution discussed in
Correct article usage
the former
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Correct article usage
the former
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Correct article usage
the former

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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Correct article usage
the former

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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former
Add an article
the former

The noun phrase former paragraph seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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paragraph.
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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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