IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today People are no longer active and fit as they use to be due to the nature of work nowadays, What are the causes of this? What solutions can you proffer

#people #nature #work
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Nowadays, people stopped being active and
got
Replace the word
gotten
show examples
 used to electronics. I opine the causes for
this
Linking Words
 are the new world
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full of electronics.
Simple
Add an article
A simple
The simple
show examples
 solution
is control
Change the verb form
is controlled
show examples
. It is perfectly sensible to say that human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 are
becaming
Correct your spelling
becoming
 inactive due to
lifestile
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
. Having said that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computerisation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 globalised, economy
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 become digital. Residents quit going to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
physical activities as there are too many things
attract
Correct pronoun usage
that attract
show examples
 them
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their
gagets
Correct your spelling
gadgets
targets
. Following examples can be taken,
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 workers started working from
home
Use synonyms
 as they realised it is possible to
work
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 remotely with the computer. Another example
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 he grabs the phone to make a call to his
familly
Correct your spelling
family
 or friend rather than
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 them.
Lastly
Linking Words
, there are too many fancy cars which attract them so that they can buy them and these cars make them
lasy
Correct your spelling
easy
lazy
 because they go to
work
Use synonyms
 by car as it is comfortable
fo
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 them. Solutions for all
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
as
Add a missing verb
are as
show examples
 follows, the companies should make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
go to
work
Use synonyms
 not just stay at
home
Use synonyms
, If they did go physically to
work
Use synonyms
 it would be better for them to be active. He could have walked to
public
Correct article usage
a public
show examples
 station/stop. After getting off the train or bus he could have walked to
work
Use synonyms
 as
this
Linking Words
 is a simple activity. It would be much healthier and
effective
Correct quantifier usage
more effective
show examples
 to see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family and
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 rather than
speaking
Wrong verb form
speak
show examples
 on the phone.
Peaple
Correct your spelling
People
 can not buy cars just for travelling to
work
Use synonyms
, they can take public transport to travel to
work
Use synonyms
. To conclude,
this
Linking Words
 is much
depended
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
 on the person, and he/she should control himself/herself. As per
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 and solutions
given
Add the auxiliary verb
are given
show examples
 above, even
our
Correct word choice
though our
show examples
 lifestyle is becoming digital we have options to choose to be physical like not working from
home
Use synonyms
 or
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
 a car to travel to
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by jasurutamuradov on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • inactive
  • fitness
  • workplace
  • technology-dependent
  • physical activity
  • fast-paced
  • stressful
  • unhealthy
  • eating habits
  • motivation
  • time constraints
What to do next:
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