IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

many people say that a person`s success is a result of the way they have been brought up by their parents

#people #person`s #success #parents
It is true but many
parents
 are overly permissive and tend to spoil their
children
, In my opinion,
this
 is not
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
pareting
Correct your spelling
parenting
 style, and it can have a range of negative long-term consequences. I think that all people agree with
this
.
To begin
 with, If
parents
 want to raise respectful and well-behaved
children
, I believe that a certain amount of discipline is necessary.
Parents
 should not spoil their
children
children
 should develop themselves and tell them no when they want something in some events when they behave badly and try to trespass.
This
 is the only way to help young people to regulate their desires and develop self-control. In my opinion,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 do the opposite and constantly give in to their
children
's demands are actually doing more harm than good.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 my friend's sister when she was little
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was very pampered and when she grew up and she cared about the feelings and needs of others.
In addition
, to succeed
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
children
parents
 must strictly raise their
children
 if they pamper it can lead to
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
.
In spite
Change preposition
Spite
show examples
of
Correct pronoun usage
thisof
show examples
, one
consequences
Change to a singular noun
consequence
show examples
 of
such
 an attitude can
that
Add a missing verb
be that
show examples
 these teenagers which pamper they are unable to work successfully in teams with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 colleagues in the future.
This
 may lead
for example
, to unrelated ongoings, unwise financial decisions, or even criminal activity.
For instance
, my
parents
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be raised strictly to be successful in the future. In conclusion,
parents
 should help their
children
 to develop self-control and respect for others,I believe that
parents
 will raise their
children
 and achieve their goals
Submitted by ina1_95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!