Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

#people #children #time #school #work

It is considered by some individuals

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

little ones are provided with

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of spare time, which these free hours should be devoted to enhancing their academic knowledge. I disagree with

this

notion and reckon that the combination of both is the best way forward. Based on the above statement, I am going to discuss

this

opinion as well as assert the reasons for my point of view.

To begin

with, there are those who believe that children should allocate their available spare time to educational purposes rather than doing

leisure

activities. As education plays

the

Correct article usage

show examples

key role in future career

path

Fix the agreement mistake

paths

show examples

. Undoubtedly, spending children's free span on their homework will enable them to find out their defects and work on them.

Besides

, engaging with school work in free hours will assist them to grasp the concept in depth.

Thus

, they will be able to pave the way for their future career.

On the other hand

, undeniably, playing and interacting socially is significantly important for

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

mental and physical health.

Correct your spelling

show examples

, lack of recreational activities can lead to mental as well as physical disorders which can predispose them to the diseases

such

as diabetes,obesity, depression and so.on.

Hence

, utilising their free span in doing several

leisure

activities will effectively impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their health.

Thus

I strongly believe that a balance between academic and

leisure

life is equally essential. In conclusion,

Although

some people argue that children should utilise their spare time for only studying, I disagree and support that the balance between academic and

leisure

Replace the word

leisurely

show examples

life is the best way forward.

Submitted by Parvina on Thu Jan 19 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?
These dayes, it becomes easy to doing anything through the internet even studing or making a busniness without any efforts.It has advanteges and disadvanteges.I will discuss this in detail in my essay below.
5
band
Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy? Give reason for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
In recent years, inhabitants have been preferring the use of renewable sources for producing electricity, especially in their houses because they have been trying to participate actively in the protection of nature. In this, essay I would like to shed light on the pros and cons it has brought to the lives of individuals.
6
band
You want to complain about the service you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting . Write a letter to the person who organised the meeting . In your letter •Describe the meeting •Explain the problems with the service •Suggest what the meeting organiser should do
I am writing this letter to draw your attention to the non-satisfactory service provided during our client meeting this morning , we had our meeting held in meeting hall no. 12 from 11 am to 12:30 pm . Our clients and I have made bookings for one night stay at your hotel for tonight .
5
band
Some people think that government should invest in wildlife projects and protect them. Other people think it is better if government invests money in other projects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Protect wildlife is always an important issue nowadays because damages that people has brought to the wildlife. In this article, we are going to concentrate on the aspect should goverment invest in wildlife projects or not?
4
band
Some people say that school children should study history as a main subject. Others think that others subject are more important for children in modern society. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.
Several people claim that history should be the main subject for children in school, whilst other believe that in generation today, other suject are more important. From my point of view, history should be valued, however, there are some instances that children should learn other than history. This essay will explain both scenarios.

Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?

Solar energy is becoming more and more popular as a source of household energy in many countries around the world Why is this? What are the advantages and disadvantages of solar energy? Give reason for your answers and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You want to complain about the service you received in the hotel you stayed in while attending a recent meeting . Write a letter to the person who organised the meeting . In your letter •Describe the meeting •Explain the problems with the service •Suggest what the meeting organiser should do

Some people think that government should invest in wildlife projects and protect them. Other people think it is better if government invests money in other projects. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that school children should study history as a main subject. Others think that others subject are more important for children in modern society. Discuss the both views and give your opinion.