IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on earth and this money would be better spent elsewhere that extend agree or disagree.

#people #government #money #earth
Presently, the government spends money for having a better environment
Change preposition
for
show examples
to people live in. Some people argue that the ministry should focus on other concerns and spend money on only those.
This
 essay will show that the statement is not fully true because spending fund for a place we live is not useless at all. The main reason is that the better earth's condition, the better we would live on it. How our lives are going on, extremely depends on the land and whether is supportive or not for us to do many activities. To illustrate, for being productive in whatever field, we should have a good healthy body. Meanwhile, the population's health is affected by environmental conditions
such
 as fresh air, clean water, and hygienic food. Without all of those, the community may have health problems leading to becoming less productive. The other reason is earth becomes worse recently and needs to solve soon. Nowadays,
although
 the growth of technology is beneficial, it may give a bad effect on the environment.
For instance
, the high advance in transportation makes society easy to have more than one, which leads to contribute a lot of pollution
that is
 not good for public health. The authority should tackle
this
 problem soon for saving human lives in the long term. In conclusion, it is a good way that the government should spend a lot of money to overcome environmental problems.
Besides
 having a better life for the community, it is extremely worthwhile because the earth is a place where we depend to live and do many positive things.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: