Public celebrations( such as national days, festivals, etc) are held in most countries. Theses are often quite expensive and some people say that governments should spend money on more useful things Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction

Every country celebrates some unique festivals or national events. These might not be very popular at a global level but they might hold a great sum of significance to the citizens.

Such

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days are mostly funded by the governments for their citizens. In my opinion,

these

Correct determiner usage

this

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funding should be limited to a certain amount and governments shouldn't go overboard with

such

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planning.

Body paragraph 1

On the one hand, events and public gatherings are good reasons to bring all citizens together.

Moreover

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such

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parties don't differentiate

about

Change preposition

apply

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the

people

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attending. If planned right

such

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days can portray a positive light on

people

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and can boost their morals too.

Additionally

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, when cultures are happily shared and valued, humans make active relationships.

However

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, huge celebrations might

also

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provide active tourism.

For example

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, Chinese new year's day is very popular worldwide and

people

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from all over the world travel to China in order to witness it

first

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-hand.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, if too much attention is drawn towards decorations, foods and stalls, a lot of

governments

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government

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acquired money can be wasted.

Hence

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, the key difference is what religious group celebrates what festivals. While some individuals might be faithful to their way of celebrations other might find it to be a waste of time and space.

For instance

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, too much money is spent on Christmas eve and

people

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who don't celebrate Christmas might find it a waste.

Conclusion

In conclusion, celebrations of

such

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events should be widely accepted and taken care of. I agree, that spending too many resources on

such

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moments can be considered stressful but if the plans are made in order, these situations can be avoided sternly.

pratibhabhatia02

Jan 20, 2023

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
economic boost
local economies
social cohesion
national unity
educational value
government spending
public services
healthcare
infrastructure
balanced approach
national identity
community
tourists
social harmony
historical significance
younger generation

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