IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think studying from the past offers no benefits to today's life, while others believe history is a valuable source of information for us. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is argued that
things
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 learnt during schooling are of no use for day-to-day
life
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and
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, and
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 few
people
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 believe that
things
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 that we learn at every stage of
life
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 are beneficial in
one
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or
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way or
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 the other way.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and conclude whether our learnings are important at every stage of living. On the
one
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 hand, we learnt many
things
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 at school which we are not using on
daily
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a daily
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 basis
even
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, even
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,
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apply
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 the lesson which we studied more with a lot of difficulties is
history
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.
History
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 of all the
things
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such
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, such
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 as world wars,
life
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 stories of some great personalities and years in which
kingdom
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the kingdom
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 has
found
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found,
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 we never use
this
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 information anywhere in our lives.
However
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, during childhood, we worked hard to get it passed
and
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, and
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 even teachers taught us that it is very important for our future. For
an
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apply
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instance, during my
schooling
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schooling,
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 I once
got
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apply
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failed in
history
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 and got punished by both teachers and
also
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 in my family. I still do not know why
people
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 give a lot of importance to subjects that are taught in schools.
On the other hand
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, a few topics in
history
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 are enormously useful for our day-to-day
life
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.
Such
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 topics are the Mahabharata, Ramayan and the
life
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 stories of Freedom Fighters.
One
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 should always remember
there
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that there
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 is always a moral
of
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to
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life
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 behind
history
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which
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, which
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 we can tell to our children and grandchildren.
For example
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, the moral in Ramayana is that
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one
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apply
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as a leader should be very loyal like Rama to their
people
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. It can be compared
similarly
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 to
politics
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politics,
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 where a leader should always take care of their
people
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 and the growth of a country. In conclusion, there are both positive and negative sides to learning
history
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, that
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that
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and
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 I believe to some
extent
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extent,
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 it is very useful in our lives and teaches us
morals
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the morals
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 of
life
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.

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overall
The essay has the main idea but needs more clear links and deeper points. Add one or two strong arguments with clear links to the question.
structure
The plan uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show both views.
content
You give a personal example, this helps to show your view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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