IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that governments should change the way individuals live, while others believe they should choose the way themselves. Discuss these both points of view and give your opinion?

#people #governments #change #individuals #points
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Society has been divided
in
Change the preposition
into
show examples
 many
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
. People who live in
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 families suffer from a lot of problems in
life
Use synonyms
 while rich folks do not. Some people think that
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
 should change the way youth live but others where others have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of view. I personally agree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
. On the one hand,
life
Use synonyms
 has many ups and downs but more money makes
life
Use synonyms
 easier which means individuals who belong to poor families experience thousands of difficulties like
unhygenic
Correct your spelling
unhygienic
 food, lack of education,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 facilities of water, jobs etcetera. Even,
this
Linking Words
 kind of situation
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 let them think
something
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of something
show examples
 else.
Moreoever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, they became habitual
of
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in
show examples
this
Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
. Despite
of
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apply
show examples
these problems, they feel happy and tend to tackle
with
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apply
show examples
each trouble.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, children who
belongs
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belong
show examples
 to rich background hardly
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
 these problems
exsist
Correct your spelling
exist
. They enjoy their
life
Use synonyms
 without difficulties.
For instance
Linking Words
,
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 from
medicore
Correct your spelling
medical
 class
travels
Correct subject-verb agreement
travel
show examples
through
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by
show examples
 bicycle, bus and other public transportation which consume not only plenty of time as well as demotivate them. Individuals from highly stable financial families travel
through
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in
show examples
 private cars and bikes
Therefore
Linking Words
, children who
belongs
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belong
show examples
 to
this
Linking Words
 social class do not know the meaning of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
. They are not able to help their parents financially whereas, poor offsprings start doing work in their childhood and help their guardians. In conclusion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide all individuals with enough opportunities and
facilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
 so that they can look forward to
change
Change the verb form
changing
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 like education and work which will change their way of living.
Submitted by rupinderk3105 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nanny state
  • personal freedoms
  • sustainability
  • carbon emissions
  • societal changes
  • empowered
  • regulations
  • democratic societies
  • personal responsibility
  • intervention
What to do next:
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