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Band 5

Nowadays, many mothers take care of the family and don’t go out to work. Some believe they should be given salaries by government. Do you agree or disagree?

#mothers #care #don’t #work #believe #salaries #government
In
this
 modern era, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mothers
 take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
kids
 and do not go out for jobs. Many individuals claim that the government should pay
money
 to
women's
Change noun form
women
show examples
 who take care future of the nation. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
 concept appears to be more rational. In
this
, essay we will
further
 elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 ideology
why
Change preposition
of why
show examples
this
 notion is right and relevant.
Thus
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
 will lead to a logical conclusion. There are myriads of reasons which will
further
 explain
this
 argument but the most preponderant fact is that infants are the backbone of society. They will take
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the country in the role of
politicans
Correct your spelling
politicians
, scholars and, soldiers. Another pivotal aspect is it is
challenging
Correct article usage
a challenging
show examples
 task for
mother's
Change noun form
mothers
show examples
 because in childhood toddlers
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
epitome
Add an article
the epitome
show examples
 of
monster
Fix the agreement mistake
monsters
show examples
.
Moreover
, it is pertinent to mention that ladies refused high salaries jobs owing to they adore their children and
concern
Add a missing verb
are concern
show examples
 about
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
 of the region.
Similarly
, it is
toughest
Change the article
the toughest
show examples
 work because that times infants are garrulous and notorious. They created problems and difficulties for
mothers
. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems is that females play a vital role in our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life's
life
 and they
sacrifices
Change the verb form
sacrifice
show examples
 numerous things
such
 as jobs, career, ambition, and, opportunity. Perhaps leadership should
be bestow
Change the verb form
bestow
show examples
 some
money
 to ladies.
Besides
, if we hired someone
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 take care of
kids
Correct article usage
the kids
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 nanny
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, they charged
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of
money
.
In addition
, the article published in the eminent newspaper Hindustan depicts that
womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
 spend massive wealth on
kids
. The governments start
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 scheme which is provided compensation to
mothers
 who take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
kids
. To sum up, according to the argument aforementioned above one can reach the conclusion that the potential influence of
mothers
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 too great and the higher authorities should be
pay
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
 some
money
.
Submitted by naffey07 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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