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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress, because what matters is the quality of therir work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #care #employees #dress #matters #quality #therir #work
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In today's business world, firms often establish
dress
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 codes to enhance their professional
image
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.
While
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 some argue that
employees
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 should have the freedom to
dress
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 as they wish, believing it does not impact
work
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performance
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, others believe that a unified
attire
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 policy is essential. I disagree with the notion that employers should not care about how their
employees
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dress
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, as
both
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 the quality of
work
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 and professional
attire
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 significantly affect a company's
image
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 and productivity. One argument for maintaining
dress
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 guidelines is that professional
attire
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 enhances trust and credibility. Entrepreneurs attending formal events,
such
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 as press conferences, typically wear suits to project a professional
image
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.
Similarly
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, in Japan, nearly 80% of corporations enforce corporate
dress
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 standards, resulting in a consistent and professional appearance that benefits the company.
Furthermore
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, adhering to a uniform
dress
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 code saves
employees
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 time in selecting appropriate
attire
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, thereby increasing productivity.
Thus
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,
both
Use synonyms
work
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performance
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 and professional
attire
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 are crucial for corporate success.
While
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 employee
performance
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 is paramount, some professions may allow for more casual
attire
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.
For example
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, sports coaches often wear casual clothes to facilitate movement and demonstrate techniques. Despite
this
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, the quality of their
work
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 remains the primary concern. College basketball coaches,
for instance
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, not only develop strategies to win games but
also
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 correct players' techniques. In
such
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 cases, functionality in
dress
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 is important, but maintaining a level of professionalism is still necessary.
Therefore
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,
while
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 some jobs might require flexible professional appearance requirements, the principle of professionalism should not be completely disregarded. In conclusion,
while
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both
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work
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 quality and
attire
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 policy are important, I believe that maintaining a corporate
dress
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 standard is essential for enhancing a firm's
image
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 and productivity.
Dress
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 codes save time and reinforce a unified professional appearance, which can significantly impact a company's success.
Therefore
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, employers should care about how their
employees
Use synonyms
dress
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 to ensure
both
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 high
performance
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 and a strong professional
image
Use synonyms
.
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and presents a clear position. However, adding more examples could further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next. Using linking phrases might enhance the essay's natural progression.
coherence cohesion
Clarify any complex ideas to ensure your points are easily understood and avoid being overly repetitive in certain sections.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a well-defined structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your argument, which enhances the essay's credibility.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly communicated and demonstrate a strong understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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