IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think students should study the science of food and how to prepare it. Others think that school time should be used in learning important subjects. Discuss both views and give your opinion? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #students #study #science #food #school #time #subjects
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern world, many young
children
 are having
diabetics
Replace the word
diabetes
show examples
 and obesity
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an early age, and some
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 system
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 accountable for
this
 problem. Many people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that
school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
show examples
children
 must learn
food
 science and cooking classes.
On the other hand
, others think they should spend their crucial time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
understanding valuable lessons. In
this
 essay, I will be explaining from both
point
Change to a plural noun
points
show examples
 of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and providing my opinion.
Firstly
, studying
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
different types of meals, helps many students to keep their physical health stable. They will be more
consious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 about their portion sizes and various
food
 intakes.
Secondly
, these studies help school
children
 to understand the nutritional value and nutrients present in their daily edibles.
Additionally
, the pupils will learn and enhances their cooking abilities,
also
 they can try many healthy alternatives for a particular recipe.
For example
, when a youngster leaves
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 college, they will know how to prepare a meal without
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
assistance, and they will know
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 proper
food
 portions that they need to consume to stay healthy. Other subjects are equally important, and they learn about
food
 sciences from
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 areas of chemistry and biology. But, they cannot learn
deep
Change the word
deeply
show examples
 into
vitamin
Correct article usage
the vitamin
show examples
 values of different
food
. Major traditional subjects can add more educational value to a
scholers
Correct your spelling
scholars
scholar's
 career, but that would not help their physical health.
Although
, learning other main topics can
also
 support their grades in their higher education. In conclusion,
food
 science and cooking can help
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation to maintain their bodies with a proper diet and they can stay fit without any
dietorial
Correct your spelling
directorial
editorial
 problems. In my opinion, it is good that schools can introduce these lessons, as many young
children
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days are facing
over weight
Correct your spelling
overweight
show examples
 and other health issues.
Submitted by sandravaidz00 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: