Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education

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Despite the fact that prison sentences are popular methods in most countries to combat criminal issues, many

people

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believe that the improvement of information and

education

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is more effective in solving these problems. I completely agree with the latter viewpoint for several reasons.

Firstly

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, most crimes are committed by illiterate

people

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, who do not understand the law and their rights, which can lead to vulnerability to victimization.

In addition

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, the illiteracy rate is significantly higher among the prison population than the general one.

Therefore

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, one of the most successful approaches for reducing

crime

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rates is reducing illiteracy rates, which can happen through investment in

education

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For example

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, the authorities can set up many training and rehabilitation programs not only for criminals as a punishment, which can help them to make the right choices in life, but

also

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for ordinary

people

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as an educational program, which can increase their legal system’s information, and they become prepared to keep away from situations involving them in the offence.

Secondly

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, I believe poverty and the shortage of fundamental human rights can increase

crime

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rates, which can decline by giving qualified

education

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to the public, which leads to providing jobs for them in the future because well-educated

people

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are more likely to get jobs, which will be sufficient to meet their needs and their families’ ones and do not need to engage in illegal activities to gain more money.

In other words

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education

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gives

people

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the safety of a decent job that saves them from the

crime

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path.

To conclude

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Change the capitalization

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agree with the statement saying that

education

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is a more effective method against

crime

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That is

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because, not only

education

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gives

Wrong verb form

give

show examples

individuals more information about laws but

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also

Correct pronoun usage

it also

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can provide

Wrong verb form

provides

show examples

better jobs for them.

Submitted by ha.mahsa73 on Sat Jan 21 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically connected throughout.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and adequately summarize the main points presented in the essay.

task achievement

The response provides a clear and comprehensive argument in favor of the idea that education is more effective than prison in reducing crime.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to further support and illustrate the ideas presented.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

tackles root causes
preventative approach
critical thinking
decision-making skills
recidivism rates
equipping
socio-economic benefits
underlying factors
poverty
ignorance
lack of opportunities
rehabilitation
ineffective
higher rates of re-offending

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Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagreee. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Mental health concerns are a growing issue for many people around the world. What are some reasons for poor mental health, and what can governments do to support citizens' mental health?

There is a public park near where you live. You have heard that the local council wants to sell this park. Write a letter to a local newspaper in you letter. Introduce yourself Describe the importance of the park Say what action you will take if the council continues with its plan

Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer game, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?