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Band 4

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#schools #force #children #language
Many people said that learning
language
Correct article usage
a language
show examples
 is a key to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 your knowledge and social relationships.
However
, I completely agree with the idea
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
students
 should not be forced to learn
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
. The
first
 reason for
this
 is not all
students
 are fond of learning
language
Add an article
the language
a language
show examples
. There are many
students
 who
good
Add a missing verb
are good
show examples
 at maths, physics, science, etc. but they feel very
boring
Replace the word
bored
show examples
 when learning a new
language
.
That is
 why amounts of
students
 have average grades lower than they expected though they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 in other subjects.
For example
, a student is good at biology and
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
aims for a good-student exam but her English score is too low and she
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have enough conditions to participate
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 exam. It was sorry for her. In reality, a lot of
students
 are in that situation and schools have missed many good
students
 because they forced
students
 to learn
other subject
Change the wording
another subject
other subjects
show examples
 equally.
In addition
 to the concern above, I believe that many
students
 whose parents are looking forward to them
to become
Change the verb form
becoming
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 athlete or
sported
Replace the word
sports
show examples
competitor
Fix the agreement mistake
competitors
show examples
. They do not want to waste their time
to learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 a new
language
 that they may not use while they are in the contest. They could use that time to practice and improve their records. In conclusion, each
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 has their own choices and passions, so schools should put themselves in their shoes and do not make more pressure
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them.
Submitted by bttha.qn on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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