Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

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Indeed, Some individuals are using the advantage of
technology
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to stalk someone and spy on them. Many people are not aware that they are being spied and
therefore
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their personal
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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come under the danger zone. I believe that the advantages of the
technology
Use synonyms
will outweigh its disadvantages if proper precautions have been taken. To commence, the
technology
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is a two-faced sword and a bit of training in using it will help any individual to protect themselves
while
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using it.
However
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, people
also
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have to take a few precautions
while
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using any gadget they have to make sure that if they are granting location permission for any apps
then
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must read the
instruction
Fix the agreement mistake
instructions
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first.
For example
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, some cab booking applications have a mandatory rule to access our exact location so drivers can easily reach our pickup point, but, we must make sure that we must Off our location sharing once their trip is over.
Secondly
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, hackers are living in our society who have a clear intention of stealing the data from individuals' devices and
then
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blackmailing them for their benefit, but, to deal with cyberpunk governments have created an organization where we can lodge our complaints, we cannot directly stope the
technology
Use synonyms
just because of
this
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cyber geeks.
For instance
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, if a person has mistakenly clicked on any link sent by a hacker and now his mobile is compromised and unauthorized access has been granted
then
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they can easily take care of
this
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issue
while
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taking some preventive measures. In conclusion,
It is clear that
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there are
clear
Correct word choice
apply
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benefits to using
technology
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and we would be lost without it, we can stop using the latest developments, but, we can take a few measures to avoid cyber theft which will
overweigh
Verb problem
outweigh
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the disadvantages
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents your view, but it could be clearer. Try to directly state the main argument and summarize the key points you'll discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The body paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph. This helps guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
While you provide examples, be sure to connect them back to the main argument to enhance their relevance. Clarifying how they support your point will strengthen the essay overall.
content
You have presented a nuanced view by recognizing both the advantages and disadvantages of technology, which shows critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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