Mobile phones are considered essential by most people nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

#phones #people

Happiness is difficult to express about it and it has many ways to achieve it . In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will elucidate the ways that can help me to be relieved and happy. There are several things that make me happy.

Firstly

existence

Add an article

the existence

show examples

of my family around me . I could not live without my mother,father and my siblings. When I see those surrounding me, I feel that I am rich .The

second

thing is

money

. Everyone says

money

does not create happiness but I argued with them because If I do not have

money

, I could not buy things that I find exceedingly crucial .

For instance

, I could buy food and water which is the

nesscery

Correct your spelling

nursery

thing to be alive with

money

Also

money

helps to achieve my dreams like posses a costly car and exquisite clothes . The

last

thing that assists me to be happy in

this

life is health . My health is very important . If I feel sick, I always get depression . In conclusion, Numerous things could make you happy like healthy relationships , good health and of course

money

Submitted by 3salamriya90 on Sat Jan 21 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

192 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Mobile phones are considered essential by most people nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Interviews form the basic selecting criterion for most large companies. However, some people think that interview is not a reliable method of choosing whom to employ and there are other better methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Billions of dollars are being wasted on space research. The money used could be better if used to improving condition on people on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that too much attentions and too many resources give rise to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education disagree give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience