Mobile phones are considered essential by most people nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

#phones #people

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Happiness is difficult to express about it and it has many ways to achieve it . In

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

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I will elucidate the ways that can help me to be relieved and happy. There are several things that make me happy.

Firstly

Linking Words

existence

Add an article

the existence

show examples

of my family around me . I could not live without my mother,father and my siblings. When I see those surrounding me, I feel that I am rich .The

second

Linking Words

thing is

money

Use synonyms

. Everyone says

money

Use synonyms

does not create happiness but I argued with them because If I do not have

money

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, I could not buy things that I find exceedingly crucial .

For instance

Linking Words

, I could buy food and water which is the

nesscery

Correct your spelling

nursery

thing to be alive with

money

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Also

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

helps to achieve my dreams like posses a costly car and exquisite clothes . The

last

Linking Words

thing that assists me to be happy in

this

Linking Words

life is health . My health is very important . If I feel sick, I always get depression . In conclusion, Numerous things could make you happy like healthy relationships , good health and of course

money

Use synonyms

Submitted by 3salamriya90 on Sat Jan 21 2023

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

192 words

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Mobile phones are considered essential by most people nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some schools are very strict about their school uniforms and the appearance of their pupils, while other schools have a very relaxed dress code.

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the environment as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing importance. what problems does this shortage cause? what measures could be taken to overcome these problems?