Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both shools and parents are resposible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #lifestyle #shools #parents #resposible

Today, the vast majority of young generations do not follow a healthy style of life. Many people believe that not only parents but

also

schools are accountable in order to resolve

this

concern. My opinion about

this

idea probably falls somewhere in the middle, since the children often are not able to control their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and distinguish what is advisable for them, but more depends on their self-awareness about something wrong.

This

essay goes into

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

Change preposition

about

show examples

both approaches. One idea proposes that people at

young

Add an article

a young

show examples

age cannot manage to restrain themselves from junk

food

Hence

, they need parental or

scholactic

Correct your spelling

scholastic

monitoring. Because in case responsible persons maintain teenagers with

relevant

Add an article

the relevant

show examples

healthy

food

Fix the agreement mistake

menus

show examples

, they are not going to face problems with nutrition. Particularly, education establishments play a considerable role, as nowadays more

food

is being consumed by children at school. Dutch schools can

surve

Correct your spelling

serve

as the most applicable example. Where

food

surved

Correct your spelling

served

free of charge for the full functioning of the

organizm

Correct your spelling

organism

Moreover

, meals are given according to

exact

Correct article usage

the exact

show examples

schedule.

This

technique provides strict control and even leaves no worries for parents.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

means that schools can

also

affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a youth's healthy lifestyle. But on the downside, unbalanced feeding is inevitable among young unless they are conscious about

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

insalubrity. Now it has reached a point where a growing number of

adolescent

Fix the agreement mistake

adolescents

show examples

aimlessly eat anything they want without thinking that it could harm their body in a number of ways.

Moreover

, sometimes they do not obey anyone, nor their parents,

nor

Correct word choice

show examples

school. And often it is likely to worsen the gaps even trying to

iliminate

Correct your spelling

eliminate

a problem. So owing to

this

, children need to

self-aware

Add a missing verb

be self-aware

show examples

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

harm and get rid of bad

habbits

Correct your spelling

habits

, building

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right style of life themselves without interventions. Having concluded my ideas, young ones need adult control, but it is controllable as soon as they comprehend it

Change preposition

show examples

their own

Submitted by sadullaevajasmin18 on Sat Jan 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Children have to be educated but they also have to be allowed to learn things by themselves. To what extent do you agree? How will education develop in the future?
Nowadays it is usually discussed how children should be brought up. It is often thought that parents and school should prepare them for their future life, but pupils should acquire knowledge independently too. This essay will argue why it is completely necessary that children learn new skills on their own to achieve better knowledge.
6
band
in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Owning a home, rather than renting, holds significant importance in some countries for several reasons.
5.5
band
The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages.
Some countries continue to develop nuclear weapons, and it becomes a serious threat to world peace. At the same time, nuclear technology offers a low-cost and clean source of energy. Meanwhile, a lot of people believe that there are more advantages than negatives of using nuclear energy. I personally disagree with this statement and this essay will discuss it in detail about it.
4
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Studying more than one major is pretty common these days, but some worry about lack of expertise compared to single major. In this essay, we will discuss both views and figure out which one could be better.
6.5
band
Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?
Climate change is among the principal dangers facing people this century, and ocean levels are increasing dramatically. This essay will first suggest that the biggest problems caused by this phenomenon are the loss of land and the flooding of homes and then argue that pollution reduction and building flood protection are the most viable solutions. The foremost problems caused by climbing sea levels are that land is being lost and peoples’ residences are often flooded. As water levels rise, low-lying land is submerged and many countries become smaller. Furthermore, millions of people all over the world live in coastal areas, and if the sea

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both shools and parents are resposible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Children have to be educated but they also have to be allowed to learn things by themselves. To what extent do you agree? How will education develop in the future?

in some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

The threat of nuclear weapons maintains world peace. Nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. The benefits of nuclear technology far outweigh the disadvantages.

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans face in the 21st Century, and sea levels continue to rise at alarming rates. What problems are associated with this, and what are some possible solutions?