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Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
The majority of people
work
 very long hours and they only spend a very little amount of
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
leisure
activities
. In my opinion, long working hours have more bad sides than good sides.
This
 essay will discuss both advantages and disadvantages and provide a logical conclusion. Spending most of the
time
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the workspace has some major advantages
such
 as
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 salary and becoming a more experienced professional.
Firstly
, people who prefer to spend less
time
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
leisure
activities
 and
work
 more mainly earn more salary than others.
For example
, computer programmers sometimes even
work
 on weekends and they rarely have hobbies. But their wage is higher than others.
Secondly
, when individuals spend more
time
 at
work
, eventually they become more experienced.
On the other hand
, there are some major disadvantages of giving
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little
time
 for
leisure
activities
such
 as a monotone and unhealthy lifestyle. People without any hobbies have a boring life. They usually go
work
Change preposition
to work
show examples
 and come back home in the evening and they do not even realize that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 their life is all about their
work
.
For example
, doctors or police officers mostly spend their
time
 at
work
 and sometimes they
work
 overtime and do not even think about hobbies and sooner or later they will realize that their life is not interesting.
Moreover
, human beings sometimes have to consider that, working too much can affect their health. Jogging, fishing, hunting or walking can make them
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
 and happier too. In conclusion, giving less
time
 on
leisure
activities
 has some advantages
such
 as more
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
show examples
 and becoming a more qualified worker. But it
also
 has major disadvantages
such
 as boring and unhealthy
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. In my opinion, humans should pay more attention to their free
time
 and do some
hobby related
Add a hyphen
hobby-related
show examples
activities
.
Submitted by turalabdulsamad on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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