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Band 4

the average rainfall for three countries in Great Britain over a 12 month period in 2018.

#rainfall #three #countries #britain #month #period
The line graph reveals the information
of
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on
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 rainfall in three countries: England, Scotland, and Wales for one year starting from
January
 to
December
in
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apply
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2018. In England, the
amount
 of rainfall in
January
 was recorded just above 100ml, which slightly increased in the next
month
 by 5ml, and dipped to 90ml in March. The trend of
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 and falling
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
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 for a couple of months and reached its lowest figure in the graph for the
month
 of June at around 70ml. After that, it is predicted that the level of
rain
 will fluctuate and will remain around 120ml in
December
. In Scotland, the
amount
 of
rain
 in
January
 was 125ml, dropped unexpectedly to its lowest level
to
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of
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 20ml in February, and rocketed in next
month
 to its peak value of 135ml. In April, the
amounts
Fix the agreement mistake
amount
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 of
rain
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 less than 50ml,
then
start went
Wrong verb form
started going
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 up slightly until June.
Then
 after it is predicted to drop until September, the following
month
 it will start climbing up to October, and it will be decreased to 50
ml
 before reaching
to
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apply
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105
ml
 in
December
. In
wales
Capitalize word
Wales
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, the rainfall was 50ml in
January
 increased slightly in February and decreased to its lowest point in April around 30ml. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
month
 went up sharply to 110ml and dipped by 50ml in June. It is predicted that the highest
amount
 of
rain
 will be in July at 125ml and
went
Wrong verb form
go
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 down just below the
month
 of June’s record. It will remain constant for two months before reaching 105ml in November and it will dip down in
December
 to 52ml.
Overall
 it can be clearly seen that in each country the
amount
 of
rain
 in
January
 will be approximately
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in the
month
 of
December
.
Submitted by Nimz on

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task response
Ensure that the essay provides a clear overview of the information presented in the line graph. Organize the information in a more structured manner and avoid repeating the same information for each country.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks coherence and cohesion as the information is presented in a disorganized manner. It would be beneficial to use cohesive devices to link the sentences and paragraphs together more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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