Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#men #women

These days, there are no

such

differences between

men

and

women

because nowadays

girls

also

take part in every

field

, while achieving success. In reality, a bit part of society argues that

men

and more accurate and flexible

instead

women

.I completely disagree with the statement and discuss it in an upcoming essay.

Firstly

, in the 21st

century

Add a comma

,century

show examples

nothing has discrimination between sexes.

Women

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

are

also

seriously competing in every stage of life as same

Change preposition

apply

show examples

men

. In general,

girl's

Fix the agreement mistake

girls'

show examples

performance has increased as compared to the past because now they getting attention to do hard work, focusing more on their talent and

supplied

Wrong verb form

supplying

show examples

their name in patriotism.

Although

, in every

field

like education, sports , and job application, there are doing great with

men

. For,example, recently the BCCI announced that

girls

also

adopt full payment as similar to

men

's .

As a result

girls

also

have the potential to survive in

this

contemporary era, without boys' support.

Secondly

, it is a powerful impact on

men

due to

women

's support

similarly

, why

doing

Add a missing verb

does doing

show examples

work outside so much and more positive effect financially

Change the punctuation

show examples

On the other hand

women

rise more accurately ,

significantly

Correct word choice

and significantly

show examples

deal with all

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

situations with their presence of mind .

Therefore

, they work in essential parts of society like in the medical lines, IT sectors ,

Correct word choice

and in

show examples

the education

field

. So it is wrong to say that

women

do not have competitive strength.

Furthermore

, the biggest instance,

Correct your spelling

show examples

Kalpana Chawla become the

first

Indian

women

to go

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

moon in past.

Thus

, there are many more analyses showing that there a no difference between the sexes. Whereas , it is considered that

men

have a huge ability because of their genes, a level of hormones, with increased testosterone than

girls

. In conclusion, in my

prospective

Correct your spelling

perspective

show examples

men

and

women

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

similar potential towards any specific

field

. So not doing comparisons between both sexes . Society has to support

their

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

strengthen

Correct word choice

and strengthen

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them so

show examples

they recognise

thier

Correct your spelling

their

country

Change preposition

apply

show examples

worldwide.

Submitted by Jimmydehal090 on Sun Jan 22 2023

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14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are more and more effective security measures in large cities to reduce the crime. Does this endeavor bring more benefits than problems?

The personal information of many individuals is held by large internet companies and organizations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the Internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?