IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the childcare training courses. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Parenthood is a journey which every human being would like to be a part of and the joy
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 a couple relishes when they become
parents
Use synonyms
 is unexplainable.
While
Linking Words
 we all find kids adorable,
child
Use synonyms
-rearing is a daunting task ,especially in a nuclear family setting.
Due to
Linking Words
 the lack of experience of new
parents
Use synonyms
 in
such
Linking Words
 situations, I see a genuine need for childcare training. In the absence of
grandparentsparents
Correct your spelling
grandparents parents
 living
along with
Linking Words
 newlywed couples, there is a lack of
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and experience with regard to basic
child
Use synonyms
 care. When these couples become
parents
Use synonyms
, they become anxious and sometimes feel overwhelmed
due to
Linking Words
 the kind of attention they are expected to provide their newborn baby.
For example
Linking Words
, infants require breastfeeding and the mother should be provided with adequate training to feed her baby properly and regularly.
Also
Linking Words
, new
parents
Use synonyms
 should be extremely cautious about the hygiene of their children to avoid any kind of infection.
Thus
Linking Words
, these
parents
Use synonyms
 must undergo basic training in bathing their
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
, cutting their nails, and cleaning their
nose
Fix the agreement mistake
noses
show examples
. Newborn babies lack strong immune systems and can fall ill quite often. These babies,
however
Linking Words
, do not have any means to express their pain except through crying. Without possessing enough
knowledge
Use synonyms
 about these ailments which a
child
Use synonyms
 suffers, it is only a nightmare for the
parents
Use synonyms
 to take care of their kid.
For instance
Linking Words
, all
parents
Use synonyms
 must have basic
knowledge
Use synonyms
 about the medicine which they must administer to the
child
Use synonyms
 when he or she is crying
due to
Linking Words
 severe colic pain.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in an environment where mothers and fathers do not have help in bringing up their children through their
parents
Use synonyms
, it becomes imperative for them to gain
knowledge
Use synonyms
 about childcare.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks consistency in developing ideas and examples. The introduction and conclusion need to be more clearly present.
coherence and cohesion
The essay generally demonstrates a logical structure, but there is room for improvement in linking ideas and maintaining coherence throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The lexical resource used in the essay is adequate, but there is a need for varied vocabulary and a more sophisticated use of language to enhance the essay's quality.
grammatical range
The essay exhibits a range of grammatical structures and demonstrates control over basic and complex sentence structures. However, there are occasional errors in punctuation and tense usage.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parenting skills
  • Child development
  • Societal progress
  • Parental responsibility
  • Gender equality in parenting
  • Mandatory training
  • Childcare expertise
  • Family dynamics
  • Parent-child relationship
  • Emotional development
  • Physical development
  • Educational development
  • Parental autonomy
  • Socioeconomic accessibility
  • Voluntary attendance
  • Neglect and abuse prevention
  • Knowledge acquisition
  • Informed decision-making
What to do next:
Look at other essays: