These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant period of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. What are the advantage and disadvantage of the trend?

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Nowadays, the number of

people

Use synonyms

travelling to other countries either to find a job or to study for a significant period of time is considerably increased.

Although

Linking Words

these

people

Use synonyms

can face many benefits to doing

this

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, some of them may face some difficulties. I think the benefits far

out weigh

Correct your spelling

outweigh

show examples

any drawbacks.

Firstly

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, one primary disadvantage is homesickness and social isolation. To clarify, being away from family and

friends

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for a long period of time can lead to homesickness and loneliness.

Furthermore

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this

Linking Words

feeling may be especially difficult during holidays and special occasions.

For example

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, doctors and teachers can't celebrate with

there

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their

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families and

friends

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Furthermore

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, in

Eid

Add a comma

Eid,

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the person likes to be with family and

friends

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to celebrate with them. In my opinion, they can make new

friends

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in the country they study or work in.

Moreover

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, they can make online calls with

thier

Correct your spelling

their

families to celebrate with them.

On the other hand

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, one positive side of living abroad is that get opportunities to access better careers. To explain, many

people

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prefer to move to countries with more developed economies which can help them to get jobs with higher salaries, better working roles, and more opportunities for professional growth.

This

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can lead to improved quality of life and financial stability.

For instance

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, many

people

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move to Britain to study because they can get professional job offers with better facilities after studying. I think that good careers are not easy to achieve, and there are fewer opportunities in countries with good facilities compared to abroad. In conclusion,

although

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people

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like to have a good career with good benefits,

this

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up side

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upside

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is more important than the

down side

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downside

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, they want to celebrate with family and

friends

Use synonyms

Submitted by alharrasialanood7 on Mon Jul 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, but some sentences are not logically connected. Try to make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next.

task achievement

You've made an overall good response to the task, but make sure to elaborate more on both the advantages and disadvantages for a more balanced view.

task achievement

There are a few grammatical errors and unclear sentences. For instance, 'many benefits to doing this' should be 'many benefits to living abroad', and 'lead to improved quality of life and financial stability' should be further explained.

task achievement

Your examples are relevant and effectively support your points. This adds strength to your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay successfully balances both the advantages and disadvantages of living abroad.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant period of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties. What are the advantage and disadvantage of the trend?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In many developing countries, there is a problem with declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. what measures could be taken to prevent this.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe the government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think history has little or nothing to offer, while others say that study of the past help us understand the present.