IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that children should study practical skills as managing a bank account, a car maintenance, as well as academic traditional courses. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #study #skills #bank #account #car #maintenance #courses
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many people consider that youngsters should study practical things
such
Linking Words
 as managing a bank account, vehicle maintenance,
also
Linking Words
 traditional academic courses. Personally, I agree with the statement that
children
Use synonyms
 should learn about managing their economic maintenance, owning a car and academic courses as well, because ,without payment stability and lack of ,knowledge
children
Use synonyms
 can not control their future careers.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the young generation's knowledge about handling bank accounts in high
school
Use synonyms
 is not enough for their future
due to
Linking Words
 the studying system.
For instance
Linking Words
, some
children
Use synonyms
 after graduating
school
Use synonyms
 can have a problem with managing their money and car taxes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the offspring want to go to college after
school
Use synonyms
 in that situation, they will
be in
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lack cash.
As a result
Linking Words
, in most developed countries scion at the age of 18 or 25 become homeless
due to
Linking Words
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 issues.
In other words
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 should study managing money and taxes in
school
Use synonyms
, as they will be a part of society after all.
For example
Linking Words
, in most
schools
Add a comma
schools,
show examples
 teachers try to teach their pupils subjects like geography, history and music, but
this
Linking Words
 is not helpful for
children
Use synonyms
 who want to become independent after graduating. Eventually, the heir should study economics in
school
Use synonyms
 and be able to manage their own path. In conclusion, I agree that
children
Use synonyms
 should learn
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 skills
such
Linking Words
 as handling a bank account, and vehicle maintenance,
as well as
Linking Words
 academic courses. As economical knowledge helps them to take control over their taxes and in
children
Use synonyms
's future plans.
Submitted by sherzod5574485 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details that are relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to ensure clear and accurate communication.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: