IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Traffic problems are increase in most cities. What can be done about this?

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In
this
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 modern era, the world is developing and competition is
also
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 very high.
Therefore
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 parents always try to do their best for their
children
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, so they encourage their
children
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 to take part in organised
group
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activities
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. But on the other ,hand some people think
children
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 need to learn themselves on their own is important to them. In
this
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 essay , I will highlight some of my reason and state my opinion on them.
However
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, in my opinion, while I believe, there are some benefits of organised
group
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activities
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. I disagree with
this
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 be the most important thing is
children
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 occupy themselves on their own. Going forward, one of the major reasons for
this
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children
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 can enhance their natural talents, if they are doing their learning themselves they can evaluate a range of their knowledge. Some
children
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 are born with impressive natural talents, for ,instance 10% of
children
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 do their Masters's degree very early age like 15 or 16 years.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 can enjoy and spend their childhood. Because childhood is the best thing to enjoy life. They can play some sports, watch movies, and spend
time
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 with their family members. These all things make a happy child and to be a balanced child. After ,that they can innovate their creativity to explore others and learn their own
Moreover
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, organised
group
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activities
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also
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 have a lot of benefits, mainly they can learn their
time
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 management useful and effectively be a part of a
group
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 member.
Time
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 management is very useful for every child to manage their life smoothly. So organized
group
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 activity is caused to better
time
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 management. In conclusion, in spite of
children
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 occupying themselves the foremost thing is that organised team
activities
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. Both boon and bane, but when the
children
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 need the self-confidence to move with others. Self-motivated, problem-resolving,
children
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 make good leaders.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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