Parents should encourage children to spend a list time studying and more time in physical activity

In today's modern epoch, education and
health
is a fundamental
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of a bright future some opened that parents should inspire their offspring to spend more time in outdoor activities rather than academic work .I fully agree with the above Nation and, I have given my reason along with suitable justifications in forthcoming paragraphs To comment Singh with the agreement side of
this
phenomenon,
first
and foremost,physical wealth is equally important as a study.
additionally
,without any physical development for children age many drastic consequences regarding
health
.if
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
children do not play sports and only spend their time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying they can suffer from many diseases.
For Example
,low strength of bonds and many future diseases like diabetes ,sugar and many knee problems.
moreover
,physical creativity like cycling ,swimming, hiking and playing outdoor games not only
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
physically good but
also
gift in
overcome
Change the verb form
overcoming
show examples
stress-related study Yet another reason, outdoor movement have a bunch of advantages.
additionally
, if children play outdoor games and do outdoor physical activities, they can
sufficient
Change the word
sufficiently
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
enhance their knowledge about social skills and
also
seed through help the body they can do everything without any trouble for long term
moreover
chill hood is one of the stages where everyone can enjoy their
life
without any burden of ultimate
life
on the other hand
after child every person become a mature and due to
this
they cannot able to do outdoor movement and
also
not able to play physical games because of live pressure
moreover
physical strength is not only treatment in childhood
life
but
also
care in eventual
life
where everyone needs good
health
and due to good
health
with energy their holiday will not be due to ill
health
In conclusion, childhood is a time when we do everything without any prohibition and are able to enjoy
life
without any tension so parents must give relief about physical activities action to their offspring
Submitted by vaisuprajapati1997 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: