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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?

#people #food #care #costs #influences
In
this
 era,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health issue is an important matter for society and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 remarkable part is related to
food
. I totally disagree with the given statement, believing that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 have
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 more aware in comparison with the past. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 just fewer
people
 in poor countries in terms of economy consider the amount of money
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
instead
 of quality and materials.
This
 essay intends to express my justification,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 gives information about some factors which affect
people
 to purchasing. Regarding
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 health programs and international awareness about it,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 take care
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
 they eat and drink.
Consequently
, they pay
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
 money for
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
healthy
food
.
On the contrary
, in some countries
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
 can not afford to prepare their requirements have
forced
Add a missing verb
been forced
show examples
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 consume cheap
food
.
As a result
, they are deprived of healthy nourishment.
For example
, the children of Ethiopia do not access
qualify
Wrong verb form
qualified
show examples
food
.
Therefore
, they suffer from various kinds of diseases. In general, we can mention some bold factors which impact buyers and tend them to
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
food
. Top of them
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appearance has the most effect.
For instance
, in spite of
resistance
Add an article
the resistance
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
parents
Add a comma
,parents
show examples
 the children prefer good-looking
food
.
Moreover
, the quality of
food
 and
also
 usage of materials are effective factors.
In addition
, for some
people
Add a comma
,people
show examples
 the charge of
food
 has a noticeable influence
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 choosing the best
food
. To sum up, according to the efforts of
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
 organs to rising awareness of
generation
Correct article usage
the generation
show examples
,
people
 try to consume healthy
food
instead
 of
cheap
Add an article
a cheap
the cheap
show examples
 one.
Besides
, expect cost and initial materials of
food
, its appearance is
influent
Correct article usage
an influent
show examples
 subject.
Submitted by ebrahimisara1369 on

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