IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some believe that stress level 0f people deal with in today’s society has an impact on rising road accidents, But others deny that it has any connection on that it has any connection on that. What is your opinion?

#believe #stress #level #f #people #today’s #society #impact #road #accidents #connection
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's world, many think that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 accidents are related to the individual's psychology. But some people consider that other reasons can cause rising
this
 occasion. I will discuss both views and support my idea with examples. On the one hand, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 who go to work repetitively face
traffic
 congestion in peak hours of the day.
Then
this
 circumstance can
interrupts
Change the verb form
interrupt
show examples
 their schedule.
For instance
, if employees frequently get stuck in a
traffic
 jam, for a while these occasions inevitably lead to conflict between worker and employer.
Therefore
 to avoid getting stuck in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic
 drivers are obliged to make dangerous choices or mostly break the rules. In consequence, road accidents inevitably take place. From my point of view, psychological factors
such
 as obsession and
stess
Correct your spelling
stress
 level are the centre of these circumstances. On the flip side, the reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 increasing
traffic
 accidents are more distinctive rather than
abovementioned
Correct article usage
the abovementioned
show examples
.
For instance
, in recent decades counts of vehicles
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been
constinuously
Correct your spelling
continuously
 increasing in the cities. Undoubtedly,
this
 issue leads to road congestion
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the main streets of the city.
Moreover
, the other significant issue is that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens prefer to acquire
Correct article usage
a driver
show examples
driver
Change noun form
driver's
show examples
license
Fix the agreement mistake
licenses
show examples
 easier way. If the government doesn't enforce some strict implementation regarding driving
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
,
unexperienced
Correct your spelling
inexperienced
show examples
 drivers will sharply
accummulate
Correct your spelling
accumulate
 in the city,
this
 occasion causes crashing and more dangerous moments. In conclusion, as a matter of fact,
although
 people's stress levels are more important factors in
this
 circumstance, other reasons outweigh the psychological ones.
Submitted by ilkinkarimov on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: