IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the modern world, more and more emphasis is being placed on the acquisition of practical skills rather than knowledge from text books or other sources. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.

#world #emphasis #acquisition #skills #text #books #sources #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is significant for people to acquire various
skills
Use synonyms
 and knowledge in life to get the employee that they desire.
However
Linking Words
, due to a gradual change in social demands, people tend to seek more practical
skills
Use synonyms
 than academic intelligence from reading materials. I will examine both advantages and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 current trend in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On one hand, it is undeniable fact that intensive classes to gain useful
skills
Use synonyms
 allow
students
Use synonyms
 to work at earlier ages. In fact, applicants who already possess some kinds of
skills
Use synonyms
 are highly demanded in occupations
such
Linking Words
 as carpenters and beauticians today.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
 are immediately able to obtain job offers and initiate working as soon as graduating from high school.
In addition
Linking Words
, they are more financially independent and are able to expend more money on travelling and shopping whereas
students
Use synonyms
 who attempt to gain sophisticated knowledge spend more time studying in school.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a potential negative consequence that the
students
Use synonyms
 who take more practical lessons should take into serious consideration. While they are often employed at a younger age, it is quite difficult to change their occupation.
In other words
Linking Words
, the lack of academic knowledge will become a great hurdle to transferring to a new job. Most companies in Japan require applicants to take an exam called "SPI" to evaluate their level of understanding of language and math.
As a result
Linking Words
, those who intensively acquire special
skills
Use synonyms
 usually have to remain in the same occupation regardless of their will. In conclusion, classes to brush up on a certain skill are useful for those to apply for jobs at an earlier age.
However
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 need to make a careful decision about what they should learn at school, considering various career opportunities in future.
Submitted by mizuho_kondo117 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: