IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Write about the following topic: In many parts of the world, shopping is no longer a way that people buy things that they need, and it has been developed into a form of entertainment. What are the reasons for this development? Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #parts #world #people #form #entertainment #development
In the present world, shopping has become a form of enjoyment and self-satisfaction rather than a necessity. There can be several reasons for
this
 change and
this
 essay will explore the reasons for the changes and discuss the positive or negative development associated with it. In the past,
people
 used to go shopping to fulfil their daily needs ,
however
, the concept of shopping eventually has changed a lot. Nowadays,
people
 are going shopping to not for fulfilling their regular needs but rather than passing time in the mall, having some snacks or roaming around.
In addition
, it is a very common trend that when an individual feels stressed or sad for any reason go
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 shops to console himself.
Moreover
, after a hectic ,week
people
 usually can go shopping to buy their weekly needs and have some refreshments. From my personal viewpoint,
this
 is a positive development because going shopping can provide self-satisfaction, self-independence and confidence as they can use their
money
 and buy something.
On the contrary
, there can be some negative developments in accessive shopping which can lead to detrimental effects. Too much shopping done by
people
 is now regarded as shopaholics which I personally believe is harmful to their mental health.
Moreover
, countless unnecessary shopping is a waste of
money
 rather we can use that
money
 for deprived
people
 or some social work. To conclude, we can come to the point that, shopping has got its popularity but we should not use it as a form of wasting
money
. Shopping is a necessity, refreshment and enjoyment but we have to keep control of it.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: