Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

At the moment, a number of
people
believe that cutting-edge technology is making
people
more communicative, whereas others think it is making them less sociable. I personally agree with
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
statement since nowadays
people
became less talkative.
This
essay will reveal two views and give
reasonable
Add an article
a reasonable
the reasonable
show examples
conclusion. On the one hand, in modern life, we have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
plenty of new
technologies
that produce every day.
Subsequently
,
people
can use
such
technologies
and communicate with each other. A lot of inventors can produce useful things
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
society. These things can ease their life.
Firstly
, HI-Tech cut down the
long distance
Add a hyphen
long-distance
show examples
barriers.
Therefore
, we have
such
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
meadia
Correct your spelling
media
as Facebook, Instagram, Telegram, Snapchat and so on where
people
can talk with their close friends or with their relatives.
This
invention
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
to keep in touch
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
.
Secondly
,
approximatelly
Correct your spelling
approximately
half of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
use
Correct article usage
the network
show examples
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
to gain
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
and be on trend.
However
, in my opinion, cutting-edge
technologies
destroy terms among
people
.
On the other hand
, due to social media
people
became less sociable. Because
,
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apply
show examples
communication in social media became so easy
hence
they do not want to talk in real life.
Moreover
, a multitude of
people
afraid
Add a missing verb
are afraid
show examples
to talk face-to-face.
Furthermore
,
people
who spend a lot of time
to be
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being
show examples
stuck behind with computers are prone to mental problems and self-doubt.
For instance
, scientists concluded that the brain of those
people
who played video games could not distinguish between reality and virtuality, and they developed apathy and unwillingness to do something. In conclusion, despite of advantages which new
technologies
can give, they are
also
can give huge damage to
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
socialization.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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