IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

You work for an international company and would like to spend six months working on its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • explain why you want to work in the company’s head office for six months • say how your work could be done while you are away • asked by his/her help in arranging it

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Dear Mr. Adams, I am writing to express my interest in the opportunity to spend six months working at our head office in Germany. Working at the head office would provide me with a deeper understanding of the company’s
overall
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 strategy, and would allow me to work more closely with senior leaders and other key stakeholders.
Additionally
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, I believe that the experience would be beneficial for building a global network of professional contacts. I understand that my absence may cause some inconvenience for my team, but I am committed to ensuring a smooth transition and the continuation of my work. I could work with my colleagues to identify the most critical tasks and projects that need to be completed during my absence, and to set up clear communication channels to stay informed and provide guidance as needed. I would be grateful for your help in arranging
this
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 opportunity and for your consideration of my request. Please let me know if you need any additional information or if there is anything else I can do to facilitate the process. Thank you for your time and consideration. Yours sincerely, Mark Webster

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Enhancement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea, which you have done well. Consider adding an example or a short personal anecdote to make your reasoning even more compelling.
Enhancement
Use a wider variety of cohesive devices and transition words to link ideas and paragraphs more seamlessly. For example, phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' and 'Therefore' can help to guide the reader through your argumentation.
Enhancement
Fully address the prompt by providing more detail in each section of your letter. While you have covered the key points, expanding on each with more specifics could strengthen your task achievement score.
Commendation
Maintain the respectful and formal tone you've established, suitable for communication with a superior. This sets a professional tone for your letter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • professional development
  • global operations
  • cross-functional
  • remote work
  • progress updates
  • logistical arrangements
  • cultural exchange
  • continuity plan
  • enhance my skillset
  • broaden my horizons
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