Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are two
mainly
Replace the word
main
show examples
known methods which society
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
to apply in the battle with
hunger
appearing in many parts of our planet.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
is to give an instrument
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
learning and
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
means to give some meals for
failing
Correct pronoun usage
those failing
show examples
hunger
Change preposition
with hunger
show examples
.
This
essay will examine both sides. And I will give my own point of view about
this
case.
First
says that if would habitants had some level of education they would have
knew
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
about ways to
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
person demanded by society. It would have led to
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
choice of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
occupation for enrolling
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
best course resulting in
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to be necessary
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
market. As a consequence,
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
a job
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
a certain
firmly
Change the word
firm
show examples
probability
never
Change preposition
of never
show examples
ever
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
hunger
Replace the word
hungry
show examples
. On
other
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
some think that the only right path to tackling
hunger
is just giving
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
to people who much need. In
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
turn
Add a comma
,turn
show examples
such
help contributes to individuals
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
stronger and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more able to
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
and rise significantly their motivation to be
equal
Add an article
an equal
show examples
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of mankind.
Consequently
, people who get
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
support in future will get a job and will no longer
put
Add a missing verb
be put
show examples
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
starvation.
For example
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
short research
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
Toronto University firmly
proofed
Replace the word
proved
show examples
that students who had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
lunch during
academic
Add an article
the academic
show examples
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
better marks for a term in
compare
Replace the word
comparison
show examples
to students who had not. In my mind that will be a complex approach to
solution
Add an article
the solution
show examples
of
hunger
worldwide.
Actually
Add a comma
,Actually
show examples
I cannot disagree
both
Change preposition
with both
show examples
of noticed opinions. As people only educate if they
already
Add a missing verb
are already
show examples
well-fed
as
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
person
Add an article
a person
show examples
do not need to learn if he has
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
.
Thus
I think in starve – give a few and
then
of course supply him
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
strong
Add an article
a strong
show examples
motivation to
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
both of suggesting approaches are having a place to be used as
Add an article
a tool
show examples
tool
Fix the agreement mistake
tools
show examples
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
Correct article usage
a subject
show examples
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
, I believe
optimal
Add an article
the optimal
show examples
method is
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
mix
Add an article
the mix
show examples
and in
cohesion
Add an article
the cohesion
show examples
of applying each of them.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: