Some people believe that education is the key to tackling hunger worldwide while others feel that the answer is in food aid. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There has been a significant divergence of opinion revolving around THE hunger fight can be handled throughout the world, by educating
people
.
However
,
another
Replace the adjective
other
show examples
people
believe that giving free
food
will overcome hunger. In my opinion,
people
should pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
education
and after
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
a
job
and solve the problem
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
handling their basic needs.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
essay will
discussed
Change the verb form
discuss
show examples
both sides. On the one hand, educated
people
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not think about hunger, most of them have enough money to feed themselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because they have
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
and
job
to solve their daily needs. There are several possibilities to increase
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
income as well as taking extracurricular courses and
education
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
. It may help to improve some skills and knowledge which will be the reason to take a high-level paid
job
.
For example
,
nurse
Add an article
the nurse
a nurse
show examples
can study at university and take
bachelor’s
Correct article usage
a bachelor’s
show examples
degree,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
become a doctor. The same rule applies in all other sectors as well.
On the other hand
, there are some
people
who
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
help as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
food
aid. They may
be disable
Change the verb form
be disabled
be disabling
show examples
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
a
job
where they have enough salary to feed themselves.
Furthermore
, in grocery
stores
Add a comma
,stores
show examples
a lot of
food
with short product expiration
date
Fix the agreement mistake
dates
show examples
and most of them fail to sell. It means that
food
consumption is not high.
That is
why the government could help to
social
Change the word
socially
show examples
weak
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the population by feeding them.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the USA provided
food
banks for
people
who need help with
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
show examples
. In conclusion, it is necessary to help
people
by giving
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
to take a free
education
and get some free
food
if they
need
Correct pronoun usage
itneed
show examples
. I believe, in
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
this
Change the determiner
this person
these people
show examples
people
who
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
needed will have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to help
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: