Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that the free communities aim to
support
to pour
people
or young talent
Correct word choice
and have
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have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to be on the mandatory
base
Correct your spelling
basis
show examples
in high school programmes. I
exactly
Add a missing verb
am exactly
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fun of
such
movements,
first
,
this
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these
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activities improve
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
mental health of
person
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the person
a person
show examples
who
act
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acts
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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and
second
people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
support
of course
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, of course,
show examples
get a great chance for success in life.
Firstly
, taking a part in charity projects for youth leads to
involving
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involvement
show examples
in
social
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the social
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
of city life resulting in
wide
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a wide
show examples
range of new knowledge and skills
Add the comma(s)
, in addition,
show examples
in addition
this
makes students more friendly and helpful
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
neighbor
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neighbour
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livings
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lives
show examples
. As a consequence, participants get abilities and
significant
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a significant
show examples
rise of responsibility to
people
around
and
Correct pronoun usage
them and
show examples
as a result
more adapt to
future
life. It is certainly
proofed
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proven
show examples
by
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
of Astana, that students who
helps
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help
show examples
young children in sports get
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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approximately
to
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apply
show examples
30% higher marks in their terms. In fact,
support
to
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for
show examples
a talent in sport or music or any other kind of activities
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
immature age contributes to increasing of self-confidence of
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
who
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
support
.
This
causes drastic
rice
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
productivity in
Correct article usage
the achievements
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achievements
Fix the agreement mistake
achievement
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of goals.
Aa
Correct your spelling
As
show examples
a result,
peoples’
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people’s
show examples
probability of success in their
future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
grows dramatically and they are giving back to society by
great
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the great
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income of
invest
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investment
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and tax burden in the
future
. The «
First
charity community» of Astana serves as a clear example
where by
Correct your spelling
whereby
show examples
applying
Add the preposition
forapplying
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such
programmes over the past 20 years were finding 3 hockey world champions and more than 20 champions in 15 kinds of sport. In conclusion, programmes
aim
Correct pronoun usage
that aim
show examples
to
support
people
have a double effect both for
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
who acts
this
and
individual
Correct article usage
the individual
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whom acts. Both of them are winners in their
future
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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