Some people believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness. While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In
this
contemporary
world
, the best
stage
of
happiness
is experience
Change the verb form
is experienced
is experiencing
show examples
during
childhood
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
others believe that an individual can enjoy more
happiness
in other stages of
life
. In my opinion, I believe that a
person
can enjoy
happiness
regardless of what
stage
. It depends on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
how the
person
defines his
happiness
. It is widely believed that the best
stage
of
happiness
is happening during
childhood
.
This
is because
during
Add the comma(s)
,during
show examples
childhood
, the minds of the young ones are not contaminated with physical and complicated things. A weekend holiday with family can hold precious memories that they can look back
someday
Change preposition
on someday
show examples
as happy thoughts.
For instance
, young professionals nowadays would long for the days when their lives are not complicated, where they do not have a care in the
world
about money, finances and how to survive in
this
cruel
world
and just be happy. On the one side,
happiness
is not confined only
during
Change preposition
to
show examples
childhood
. No one can deny that in other stages of
life
, individuals can be more fulfilled and satisfied after achieving their ambitions or goals in
life
. An optimal example of
this
can be, as a child, a
person
dreamt
Correct pronoun usage
who dreamt
show examples
of being a
world renowned
Add a hyphen
world-renowned
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doctor. After completing his university degree and enduring
sleepness
Correct your spelling
sleepless
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nights of being an intern, he
then
graduated with
honors
Change the spelling
honours
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and
thus
achieving
Wrong verb form
achieved
show examples
his
life long
Correct your spelling
lifelong
show examples
dream.
This
can be his happiest
stage
in
life
. In conclusion,
happiness
is defined by a
person
's point of view.
This
can be enjoyed during
childhood
or a later
stage
of
life
. What is important is being happy even once in your
life
.
Submitted by bambam.alexis on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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