Some people believe that young people benefit from working while studying at school or university. Others think that young people will achieve more by focussing on their studies. Discuss both of the view points and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. days?

#people #benefit #school #university #studies #points

In the fast-paced world, graduation is not a cup of tea for everyone.

Education

is a vital role in a career. To succeed in

education

, many

students

are doing part-time

jobs

after college hours. It will helpful for those who struggle with daily life. But, others are thinking that these

jobs

will affect concentration on

education

This

essay will argue both views and examples. On the one hand, many people have a dream to complete their graduation, but, they don't have sufficient funds for daily needs and admission fees. These types of

students

are mostly from poor families.

Universities

also

encourage moonlight

jobs

. Some

universities

conduct classes in the evening time for

students

' convenience.

For example

, many Indians want to study post-graduation in the United States.

However

, they will not have sufficient money for tuition fees and daily expenses. So, these types of pupils need to do

jobs

while college time.

On the other hand

, other

students

, who are from elite families, don't need to work. Their family members support them well. So, they can concentrate merely on their studies.

Furthermore

, there will be no distractions to achieving good scores in exams.

For instance

, if

students

got good marks in exams,

universities

will provide various scholarships.

In addition

, many organisations are encouraging money to support, those who got merit. To conclude, nowadays, people are insisting on graduation, rather than financial problems.

However

, there are many opportunities for

education

support, for those who are interested in

education

. I personally believe that doing

jobs

while studying in

universities

varies on the financial background.

Submitted by anand.gnt92 on Mon Jan 23 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Your opinion

Some say that sprots play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both view, and give your opinion.

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