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Band 3.5

The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life. To what extent do you agree?

#idea #career #fashion #careers #money #education #life
I agree with the statement that in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
times
Add a comma
,times
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 more and more
people
 are having more than
one
job
.
First
 I shall discuss
on
Change preposition
apply
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how
people
 are moving away from
single
Add an article
the single
a single
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
then
 discuss how
people
 are moving to
creating
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create
show examples
 multiple income sources.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
 most
people
 wanted
flexibilty
Correct your spelling
flexibility
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 how they want to work and spend their time and not fixed to
one
ful-time
Correct your spelling
full-time
job
.
People
 are able to manage it by doing
one
ful-time
Correct your spelling
full-time
job
 and
one
 or more
partime
Correct your spelling
part-time
jobs
 or sometimes
completly
Correct your spelling
completely
 not having
Correct article usage
a fulltime
show examples
fulltime
Correct your spelling
full-time
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and relying only on part-time
jobs
 which are flexible to their
timmings
Correct your spelling
timings
trimmings
. In the olden
days
Add a comma
,days
show examples
people
 are like have
one
job
day-in
Correct your spelling
day in
show examples
 and
day-out
Correct your spelling
day out
show examples
 from morning to night and climb the corporate ladder
get
Fix the infinitive
to get
show examples
 increments and promotions, but that seemed to
faded
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fade
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 away now.
Moreover
, with the advent of
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Add a comma
,internet
show examples
 it had become very easy to educate oneself with more and more
ways
 to earn income. Some of the
ways
were
Correct your spelling
we're
show examples
 investing in
stock
Add an article
the stock
show examples
 market and getting regular dividends on their investment, another popular way is buying real estate properties for rental incomes. While these are
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 popular
ways
 everybody may not have enough capital to do
this
 so they do multiple
partime
Correct your spelling
part-time
jobs
 to earn extra bucks which
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
 them to work whenever they are needed to. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 we have seen how
people
 are moving from
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 to multiple
jobs
 and educating themselves to find various
ways
 to earn money.
Submitted by Phaneendra on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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